Call Me Butter...

Butter & Co.

2005-05-15T17:00:00.000-07:00

I managed to survive week 1 in my new studio. I even started to like it, despite the obvious lack of space. This kind of feels like a dorm room with a kitchen. This past weekend, Pedro came back to visit, and so did one of my bridesmaids, RKY. Pedro and RKY had never met, so it was an especially timely visit. We had so much fun! Friday, Pedro was extra charming and cooked a gourmet meal for the three of us. We got all dressed up and took advantage of the nice weather by wandering around the 'hood. The night was spent at an underground scotch bar. We slept in on Saturday, and went to our spectacular zoo. We promised RKY sushi for lunch, and after trying 2 places that were closed for lunch, we ended up right in our own backyard. Many cucumber rolls later, we took an afternoon nap back at the ranch. For dinner we went to our favourite hipster bar for amazing pizza and draft beer. Then we headed over to the friendliest wine bar ever, and after some riesling, we ended the night at the greatest chocolate bar ever. I had crepes, RKY had baked brie, and Pedro helped us finish. We sat outside, with candles and roses on all the tables. It was fabulous. After totally gorging ourselves on food all day, we promptly fell asleep. Today was sad when I had to say goodbye to both of my guests (after Pedro's awesome waffles). At least I have the place all to myself; Butchie is perched on the window sill like a cat. I think I'm going to drive to Butterapolis next weekend with Butchie-- our bestman invited us to his cabin. I'm ready to drink some beer and be on a boat. Maybe I will be able to get a taste of summer after all.

Rolls on Parade

2005-05-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

Last night Pedro, Butch and I listened to live music at the Historical Society, outside. We met one of my two friends here, and she had a friend with her who was pretty cool. The music was so-so, but that was fine because I was there for the conversation and to enjoy the night. We brought 3 kinds of cheese, a baguette, and a bottle of cab. As soon as we found our company for the night, Butch promptly marked one of the ladies' bag. I just about died. Luckily, they're pretty easy going people. Though Butchie didn't quite understand sharing his parents with other adults, we had a great time. After a few glasses of wine, we came home (Pedro drove) and I promptly fell asleep.

I still haven't heard about the job. I still want it, especially since work has been very crazy and not the least bit rewarding. It's weird for me to think that this time next week Pedro won't be in town, I'm trying hard not to be sad about it, but with moving and all sorts of other stuff going on.... I'm pretty overwhelmed.

I picked out my towels (monogrammed) and sheets (monogrammed) the other day. They make me happy. After I showed Pedro the floral and multi-coloured shower curtain I liked, he announced that he "didn't care" and then asked if we could buy a house with a basement. The basement would be all his, and he wants it to resemble a "Spanish Pub". Not a cantina, but something of a boys club, I think. I said he cannot have a no girls allowed sign. I love him-- I can't believe he's done with his second year of law school-- we're going to be married in like, 52 weeks! That'll fly I'm sure.

Rolling Around

2005-04-30T14:54:00.000-07:00

Here's a Butter update:

1) I went back to my GI doctor, who told me that I have to have surgery in one or two months. See, I'm bleeding internally, so if I can get that under control in one month, he'll take biopsies then. If not, in one month I'll try more/different meds, and then once it's under control I'll go under. I'm trying hard not to be depressed about all of this-- but getting screened for colorectal cancer twice in 6 months is not a picnic. Though I know I'm under the best of care, and catching a cancer really early is the best way to go, I really don't like thinking about it. A 23 year old cancer patient? Let's hope not.

2) Work has been crazy this week. We're starting a new semester Monday, meaning that I won't be much of a librarian; rather, I'll be a registrar. I'm doing all sorts of junk that I hate. I hope the job in Butterapolis comes through.

3) Pedro is in the middle of finals. He's studying all the time, and I think he's going to do really well this semester. His two brothers are coming out this upcoming weekend to help us move to the new apartment. Ours is getting renovated, so they are moving us a mile away. I'm not too excited about moving, or about where we're going-- it's right on the edge of our tony neighborhood, and there's definitly only one way to walk Butch.

4) Pedro is moving back to Butterapolis for the summer. I'm going to be pretty lonely. His job is very cool though-- and he'll be able to do some wedding stuff with my mom.

5) Speaking of Mom, she told Pedro that he can call her Mom. I thought that was pretty neat.

That's about all for now, I miss my friends. I wish my intestines would get under control.

No Rolls

2005-04-23T11:18:00.000-07:00

I know I've been gone for a while, but Pedro's taken over my computer to outline as he has finals coming up. What's exciting:
1) Pedro's taking the Foreign Service Exam. If he passes, he's on track to become a diplomat. It's all based on need, so who knows? He does test very very well.
2) I got my very first engagement gift off of my Crate and Barrel registry: a dessert set from one of Dad's old friends (who happens to live about 15 minutes away from me now). Well, guess she's on the guest list now. I'm anxious to get the cake server engraved with our names and wedding date. I like how 06-10-06 looks.
3) I picked up 2 books: Colette's The Complete Claudine and Susan Jane Gilman's Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress. Bridal is definitly one of my hobbies.
4) My colon is a mess yet again. I'm on another RX in addition to the other 2... this one blurs my vision and hinders my driving ability-- but it does ease the cramps that happen ever time I eat. It's weird to feel really bloated yet look at my tummy and see that it's flat.
5) Butchie went on a 6 mile hike with Pedro and I. We found out that he's quite good at drinking out of water fountains. I couldn't believe he lasted so long-- we didn't even carry him.

Butter and Basketball

2005-04-02T17:06:00.000-08:00

mArch madness has taken over my neighborhood. Of course, I can't pry Pedro off the couch tonight, but that's ok. We had our fun last night-- a coworker of mine was a beer tub girl down by the river, so we hopped the train and headed down to tourist central looking for her. I was in a halter cut way low and black pants-- and of course I run into another coworker (male) who was also looking for our beer tubber. I"m sure I'll hear about that on Monday. Turns out we couldn't even find her, so after a strong V&T and a few free shots, we took the train west to a trendy Asian bar for JH's birthday party. I had a great drink-- cucumber, apple and gin-- that I'm going to try and recreate at home. We had a decent enough time, but it's kind of hard to hang out with all those law students. Pedro and I have basically abandoned them on the weekends, as he sees them during the week. Being engaged, working, finished with school, with a puppy at home... even though I'm the youngest of everyone out last night I sure did feel old. Pedro assured me that he couldn't be happier with our stable life, and after really thinking about it, I agree with him.

In hush-hush news, I'm applying for a new job. In Butterapolis. For the following school year. At my alma mater (where my future mother in law and my current stepmom both teach). It's really a good opportunity. While I don't want to be away from Pedro and Butchie, if I got it, it'd be so so sweet. I could save money by living with REL or DDL, get a good start on a career in Butterapolis, be able to plan my wedding efficiently... sigh. I act like I already have the job. My app. will be in the mail this week, and I'll certainly keep y'all posted.

In the meantime, please take note that my address has changed. I'm still on the same street, but now the last 2 numbers in my street address are 16 instead of 05. My new apartment number is 302. Just so you know.

Just Butter

2005-03-22T18:53:00.000-08:00

Work was great today-- I went to lunch with a coworker, and then this afternoon we had an all staff meeting. I know most people hate meetings, but honestly I love them. I like being able to ask questions and see what's going on with the rest of the college. Today's meeting was about space-- the school is acquiring a third floor, and consequently the library will be moving to a more central location (it's just down the hall, but this is a good chance to reorganize some things). As the libraries I worked in Boston had moved, this is old hat for me, especially since this library is tiny compared to those. I know lots of librarians are trying to add computer terminals, but I'm anxious to get rid of ours-- they run down the center of what is essentially a large classroom with the shelves lining 3 of the 4 walls. Not quite Harvard, I know, but I'm working with what I can. I'll have 16 terminals and have 2 round tables for group study (this is the first time there is non-computer seating in the library). I'll also have a nice brand new wrap around desk all for me; I can't wait to get away from the secretaries and into the library. I think I"m going to throw a housewarming party of sorts, so the whole school can see what's going on in their library.
I got home from a good day at work to find Pedro and Butchie cuddled on the sofa. After my usual greeting of, "Hi Boys!" and kisses all around, Pedro made me heart shaped pasta for dinner. We've been polishing off a bottle of wine, and watching movies. "Breaking Away" is on; it's about Pedro's alma mater. Go ahead and google it, it's supposed to be pretty good.
Posting will probably be sparse for the rest of the week-- we're off to Orlando for a wedding this weekend!

Luck O' The Butter

2005-03-18T18:30:00.000-08:00

Because I work in a nightlife hot spot (seriously. We're located between a nightclub and a pub) my St. Patrick's Day fun didn't involve a car ride. I went out with 2 girls from work for the first time. After working there for 6 months, we all decided it was time. It was quite nice-- even though the beer was so-so, to go out with other girls reminded me a bit of last year. I miss my old grad school girls, and I think it all kind of came back to me last night: I was again the youngest, the most outgoing, and the one who always seemed to draw attention whether I was asking for it or not.

I didn't feel bad leaving Pedro back in the apartment. He's been sinking into the couch watching hours upon hours of college basketball. Yesterday he added a four pack of Beamish, and with Butchie at his feet, he was in heaven.

I don't even remember how I spent St. Patty's Day last year, but I'm sure I had fun. One funny story from last night: this guy in a suit was hitting on me, even though I was dramatically gesturing with my left hand, flashing my ring. He noted my red hair and asked if I was Irish. I looked at him squarely and reminded him that not all redheads are Irish, and not all Irish have red hair. I don't know why Americans think it's so cool to claim to be Irish (we have a friend who is maybe 1% Irish and 99% French and still proclaims he's Irish). I'm proud to be an Eastern European Mutt.

Off my Roll

2005-03-15T16:50:00.000-08:00

Pedro might have been able to drive my car to school, but driving it home was a different story. As he was exiting the law school parking garage, he heard a loud pop and then the rear axel fell. Unable to even push it forward, he managed to skid it into a parking spot. He called me to tell me to call AAA, which I did, and I had to go to the law school to meet him and AAA. I went to his car in the parking garage, and while sitting amid all the broken glass, I realized his car was totally out of gas. I called a cab, but after waiting 45 minutes we canceled AAA and he took the shuttle back to the apartment. I called work, saying I was obviously not going to be able to make it on time, what with both of our cars out of service.

I called a rental car place and I've been driving a teal Corolla for the past couple of days. Last night I cleaned out my car and it was quite sad. I learned how to drive on it when I was 15, and it was always faithful to me.
Here's some of the weirder stuff I found:

a pint of teal paint (I was going to paint my loft in college but never got around to it)
3 pairs of white gloves (from my cotillion days)
assorted mixed tapes made by assorted mixed up ex boyfriends (no CD player)
1 neon green Converse All-Star (I have no idea)
birth control from 2001

I'm sure there was more things that you'd find funny, but those are the first things that come to mind. Pedro's window is fixed and I have to return the Corolla tomorrow. I should be getting my car either tomorrow or St. Patrick's Day (hopefully tomorrow!)

Also, I found out that my taxes for this new car come to about $1600, which must be paid in full within 30 days. Tonight Pedro and I ate some beans for dinner-- I think this is the start of a new diet.

Everyone Wants What Butter's Got

2005-03-14T05:50:00.001-08:00

In a very weird turn of events, Pedro and I are suddenly without cars in good shape.

See, what I didn't mention before is that one of the reasons I was buying a new car was because mine was broken in to. I parked on the street instead of my garage because I was worried about my transmission. I park in the sub-basement, and it's quite tricky to get out of my spot with a car in working condition, so I decided that before I'd get my transmission checked out,I'd park on the street in my well-to-do neighborhood. Last Monday morning, I discovered a rear window broken, my glove compartment rummaged, and a container of change I used for toll roads gone. I would've paid the robber $20 just to NOT break my window. I'm guessing it was a bum looking for loose change.

Last night, after Pedro's concert, he returned to his car to find the driver's window broken and his entire stereo console gone. It was a very cold ride home last night for him! This robber was a professional-- he left all of Pedro's CDs and opened the trunk from the backseat (by folding down the seats) looking for a CD changer.

Now, Pedro chose to drive my car with the lowsy breaks to school this morning, and I'm guessing I'll drive my car to work this afternoon, but it's quite scary. Especially since I have to get my new car later this week, I have the weird feeling there's a possibility we'll be taking an expensive cab ride to the dealership to pick up my new car!

Everyone Wants What Butter's Got

2005-03-14T05:50:00.000-08:00

Bagels and Butter

2005-03-13T16:08:00.000-08:00

I know I've been MIA for a while, but hey, this girl's been busy.

I've had much drama concerning my car. It's finally bitten the dust, and after treating this like a research project, I've finally bought a new car. A BRAND NEW CAR, all for me. And yes, it's another Saturn. Here I am, being one of their nearly 50% of loyal repeat customers. I'm very excited, it has absolutly everything I want and nothing I don't. Like leather seats, a sunroof, MP3 player, a huge trunk, and a spoiler. And great gas mileage. Pedro and I had fun buying it-- I wanted to make sure he likes it as it'll become our car sooner than later.

This morning Pedro surprised me by bringing home bagels from 2 different places. This was for "Consumer Reports: Bagel Edition 2005". Probably a little tired from all the comparison car shopping, he decided to test drive different bagels. I also got Hamantashen and some pink daisies out of the deal.

We decided to be tourists today. We went to the Science Center, which is free, and then on to a local brewery. We wanted a tour, but that wasn't happening on Sundays, so we had a beer and went home and fell asleep while watching college basketball.

Tonight Pedro's going to a concert alone-- some band in the genre of "noise rock" so I opted out of it. Really, I'm just excited for my new car. I'll be able to pick it up Wednesday, after the paperwork goes through. SO EXCITED!

Buttered

2005-02-24T21:39:00.000-08:00

OK, for the record, I've had an awful lot to drink and I can't quite see the monitor. I'm waiting to jump in the shower. I'm in IA. I left work early to come here and I after a long drive I had a lot of fun going out with my future brothers in law. Crazy. It sounds so adult. It's sad that I'm meeting so much of Pedro's extended family during a funeral,but I'm guessing it's better to meet them now than never at all. I had the pleasure of sharing a first bar bought drink with Pedro's littlest bro (he's 18) and it was great. Butch survived the ride across the Mississippi with little incident. We're staying at Pedro's grandparents house. They don't know we brought Butch. Surprise! OK, it's time to shower. I have a funeral to go to tomorrow, and it's Catholic, so chances are we'll be drinking again. I don't know if I'm going to update or not. Better than being at work! Yay!

Butterdoodles

2005-02-20T10:08:00.000-08:00

Pedro is in Chicago for the weekend for a bigdeal Moot Court tournament. He didn't win, but one of the judges told him he has a scholarly aura. I'll take that. This means that I've been a single dogmom this weekend. It's been nice, actually. Friday Butch and I walked to the bank and the dry cleaners (I LOVE that I can do that in this neighborhood). Then we went home and ordered a pizza. After a bath for Butchie, I hung out and embroidered. Saturday I decided to get ambitious after prompting from one of my future brothers in law and baked five dozen snickerdoodles using Emeril's recipe. The music on TiVo was my background noise, and I had a lot of fun making them. Every single batch came out perfectly, and now GSH, MEL and MCH will have fresh cookies delivered to their dorm room/fraternity house/apartment (respectively). This morning I've decided to extend my domesticity by baking a Challah (I don't care if it's not Shabbat) and maybe making a lasagna so Pedro has a homecooked meal to come home to (that NEVER happens). DWHS said that he will mock me when I have children, but you know, I don't need kidlets to have a great cookie recipe or a desire to bake bread. I was so involved in the baking yesterday that I even forgot to eat dinner-- just a couple of cookies. I'm proud of myself and my cooking skills. I'm even more proud of myself that I got ALL of my ingredients to make the cookies at Target-- and it wasn't a SuperTarget, just a regular one. The one downside to baking is that I think I still have cookie dough stuck in my engagement ring. La di da.

Professional Roll

2005-02-16T13:07:00.000-08:00

Today I went to my very first professional conference (as a professional, that is). It was here in town, so I didn't get to make it into a mini vacation, but I still enjoyed myself. I was the only librarian in the building, so that made lunch conversation fun. This conference was for economics professors, so the first presentation on productivity and the second one on economic outlook made me feel like I was back in graduate school (bored out of my mind) but the second half about using resources was sweet. The 40 or so other participants were mostly from the deep south-- I enjoyed hearing a MS accent. Now I'm hanging out at home for about an hour before I head to work (stupid late night-- if this was on a different day of the week I'd be able to call it a day). Butch is enjoying seeing me at this time of the afternoon (a real rarity for us both). And it's nice out, so I gave him a good little run. I think it's going to be harder and harder to go to work when it keeps getting nice outside. Why can't I be a cruise ship librarian? I guess if I was on a cruise ship I wouldn't be able to go to fun conferences. Ah, it's always a give and take in librarianship.

Bouquets for Butter

2005-02-14T10:14:00.000-08:00

I had such a nice weekend. On Friday, Pedro spent hours cooking me a gourmet meal. We started with a cheese spread, went on to a marinated portabella with three kinds of mashed potatoes over wilted spinach, and homemade chocolate mousse for dessert. We of course had wine pairings with all the food, and it's always so cute to see Pedro in his black apron. Saturday we had Barrister's Ball. Typical Pedro, he realized at 5 that his black dress shoes were in Butterapolis-- meaning that we made a trip to DSW in our formalwear. It's always fun to get compliments from strangers, especially when we were obviously in a rush. We made it to the hotel with plenty of time, so after a drink at a swanky bar, we entered. And danced all night! I felt really good in my dress, my hair was behaving, and Pedro's custom made tux looked better than all the rented deals on the other guys. Yesterday, we took Butchie for a nice long walk in the park-- the weather is finally nice-- and we saw wild turkeys. That was exciting and unexpected. We also went to brunch, wandered around Borders and Whole Foods, and updated our registry at Crate & Barrel. I love that place. And registering is the best-- we spent an hour there, and not a dime. I can't wait to get all the stuff I picked out! This morning, while Pedro was at class, I did some laundry and took Butch for a big walk. He has a big deal interview this afternoon, so I made sure he looked perfect before jetting out the door. As far as V Day is concerned, I let him know he's totally off the hook (as he proposed with a sizeable ring just 6 weeks ago) but he's meeting me for my dinner break tonight at work. I really do like my work schedule, I know everyone at work is looking longingly out the window, wishing they could have the morning doing what I did: walk and get mango iced tea, window shop, and just enjoy my neighborhood. Days like these help remind me that I'm NEVER moving to the 'burbs-- it's weird seeing the tourists from the burbs oohing and ahhing over my turf.

Butter's Butt

2005-02-08T13:21:00.000-08:00

So not to be too graphic, but my colon is really messing up things. I dutifully woke up and went to work, and on the way I felt really gross but figured it could be fixed with OJ from McDonald's. I ambled into work, right at 8, and by 8:10 I was on the phone to my GI guy. Of course the office doesn't open til 9, so I sat for an hour, feeling weak and wondering just how much blood was collecting in my insides. At 9, I was back in my car, heading home. Now I have another RX for 6 pills a day. That, and I'm so terribly weak, typing and watching TLC is about all I'm up for.
On a good note: I think I finally have a budget from REL, and a date on hold at my favorite wedding venue. To keep the date longer than 30 days, we have to put down a $2000 deposit. Well, nobody told me this was going to be cheap.... but it is very exciting!

Bah Bah Butter

2005-02-03T15:43:00.000-08:00

It sure does feel good to be home from work. I'm on Pedro's couch, he's taking Butch outside, and I'm supposed to figure out what we're doiongn for dinner. I love that this is the most important decision I have to make for at least the next 12 hours.

Today at work I created a prototype of a newsletter for my constituents. That was fun, hopefully the kids will give me some good feedback. I started a new book, given to me by an accounting instructor: Michael Moore's "Dude, Where's my Country?" I haven't started it yet, but I'm sure I"ll at least find it mildly entertaining.

Tomorrow I'm going back to Butterapolis. We're checking out three venues (I think) along with FL's 80th birthday bash at a steakhouse. Nothing like being vegetarian at a steakhouse. I'm sure Pedro and I will be feasting on mashed 'taters and spinach. At least I'll get to see MEL and possibly RJT.

Butter Flu

2005-01-31T08:09:00.000-08:00

I think I'm officially sick. I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm dizzy, I'm not too hungry...
But I'll still be at work.

Ugh, this is one of those times that this Monday late-start is actually pretty nice. I've been on the couch playing with TiVo and Butchie's been keeping me company. Yesterday he was the best pupster ever-- we dressed him as a bride and marched in the country's largest dog parade. We saw a standard poodle dyed pink, and dogs dressed up even more creatively than their owners. Butch was perfect-- he didn't get carsick, he didn't get too nervous.... We had so much fun. Valentine's Day will be our sixth month anniversary of being Butchie's parents. Being a dog owner is just wonderful. And I can't wait to get married so we can mend Butchie's broken home (currently we hyphenate his last name).

After such a wonderful weekend it makes it even harder to go back to work. Pedro finishes class early on Mondays, so we're going out for naked burritos (just without the shell, silly). Then I need to pick up a cake I ordered (it's a coworker's birthday tomorrow, and since my birthday was the last one in the office it's my turn to buy this one) and head off to work.

Today's payday! YAY!

Butter's Break

2005-01-29T10:09:00.000-08:00

After a very long week, I sure am glad it's the weekend.

What I've been doing since finishing work yesterday:

Rollerblading at a place called Saints-- it's a "Family Friendly" skating rink, and last night it was gospel night. Pedro thinks every night there is a gospel night. We had a lot of fun, but definitly didn't recognize any of the songs.
Laundry-- this isn't exactly memorable, but it's great fun because I put Butchie on top of the machines while I sort and change. He's the greatest pupster ever. Tomorrow there's a huge Doggie Parade in a different area of town, and of course he'll be in it. In drag.
Fun with TiVo. Wow, how did I ever live without it? Now I'll never miss an episode of Seventh Heaven. Just kidding. Sort of.
Ate a candlelit dinner for two, prepared by Chef Pedro. 'Twas wonderful, indeed.
Embroidered the tablecloth I've been working on for a while now. It'll be so pretty on the cake table when I get married...
Recieved confirmation from DWHS that one of my gown choices is in fact gorgeous. I really wish I was like, 6 feet tall. Just for this.
Started reading a book I got in the mail: "Making a Successful Jewish Interfaith Marriage".

Now I think we're going to scope out a new taqueria. You know I need a burrito on the weekend.

Butter and Books

2005-01-27T16:28:00.000-08:00

Today I learned that I should maybe take my coworkers at face value, rather than dig a little deeper. The girls up front (with whom I share my space) are nice enough, but certainly uneducated and unexperienced. I had to tell one that a carpenter does not in fact lay carpet, and the other one that Ben & Jerry's actually has real life stores, not just available in your grocer's freezer.

Then I mistakenly asked them what they were reading.

The Left Behind series.

They were talking about the "Sign of the Beast" or whatever, and I gave one of my "are you for real?" grimaces. I mentioned off hand that it was fiction, and then had to keep myself quiet. These two girls haven't even read the whole bible (I've finished both the OT and NT) and were saying rediculous things like, "I don't know how those guys could live to be over 100 years old."

Oy va voy. I have a huge bone to pick with the Left Behind books, the best selling novels of our time. These provincial girls are learning that those who don't accept JC are certainly inferior and will be sent to some undesirable place. And yes, I"ve read excerpts of theses insanely popular books.

I'm thinking my next job will be for Planned Parenthood or something equally liberal. I can't stand these conservatives way out in the 'burbs.

Butter & Jerry's

2005-01-18T17:43:00.000-08:00

There's nothing like walking around the block to get a scoop of Berry Berry Extraordinary fat free sorbet when it's 5 degrees outside. Butchie and Pedro must love me-- they came too!

I came home to Pedro's place to find it completely rearranged and CLEAN. The couch is at an angle, the coffee table is clear, the kitchen table is in the middle of the kitchen, Butchie's crate is against a different wall, the bed is turned, the mobile from Ikea is hanged... I could go on, but I won't. Also, during my lunch hour, I got a call on the cell phone provided to me by work (suh-WEET) to inform me that my name had been drawn by the pitiful Mexican restaurant next door to work for a Cantina party for 20 of my closest friends. You know I'm always up for 99 cent margaritas.

I also called DDL to see what's on the agenda for this weekend. It's the first time I'll see her since I've been engaged and I have a zillion appointments set up already. Here's a breakdown of Saturday:
9 Go to Pedro's tux place
11 Meet DDL and RPH and check out location 1
2 Drop off Pedro and check out dress shop 1
4 Dress shop 2
7 Dinner with both families for the first time at a cute Greek restaurant uptown.
And Sunday:
1 Dress shop 3
3 Location 2
Don't forget I also have to drive back from Butterapolis. You know, this would be most peoples' nightmares, but I'm just so excited. I love this stuff!

Butter the Bride

2005-01-16T20:47:00.000-08:00

Another weekend, another bridal show. Pedro came with me to this one too, and since it was downtown it was way nicer than the trashy one I went to last weekend. I still didn't see any dresses I liked (for myself or my future 'maids) but we did try some pretty good cake. Again, I loved wearing a pink sticker that said "BRIDE". That's such a fun title, and really, this is the first and only time I'll be doing this, so I don't feel too bad about loving it. Since Pedro thinks renting clothes is silly, I think we're making a trip to Brooks Brothers tomorrow morning for him to just buy a tux. I love that he wants a traditional one, and that we'll also get some use out of it.

Speaking of, I got an email from DRD asking about dresses for our upcoming balls. Too much fun, I get to pick up mine from the tailor next week. And I'll be going home this weekend for my very first engagement party. Certainly this calls for me to get my nails done (redone?). Other than that... TiVo is awesome, Pedro is the greatest, Butchie is clean and Pedro's place now has wireless.

Hair, Bikes and Daisies for Butter

2005-01-15T18:12:00.000-08:00

At the very last moment on Friday afternoon, I turned to TNH, who has really cute hair, and asked who she goes to. 15 minutes later, I had an appointment for this morning. With Barrister's Ball coming up, I knew I wanted it dramatic to match my very dramatic and exotic gown. So yes, they made me a red head! I real one, too. It's dark and dramatic and very sexy. I think my hair actually matches my eyebrows for the first time in forever. It's a nice change. After my hair appointment, which Pedro sat dutifully through, we drove to a dumpy town for him to pick up a bike he bought on eBay. Bike as in bicycle, not motorcycle. Then we decided to hit the Farmer's Market. Now, ordinarily, this would be a good Saturday afternoon activity. This Saturday afternoon, however, it was 10 degrees. And the Farmer's Market is definitly not heated. Pedro ran around and bought everything-- including a pineapple and some daisies for me-- and I stayed in the central heated area with all the bums avoiding the cold. We went to one Irish pub for lunch, and another for dinner, where I enjoyed a fuzzy navel (now that brings me back to college). After a trip to Best Buy and Trader Joe's, our day is now complete. Saturday night holds scotch for Pedro, rawhide for Butch, and cognac for Butter.

Butter Family Update: MEL is "talking" to this girl in NY that he was set up with in FL. DDL is in a play this weekend; the troupe only includes actors aged 50-70, so she's definitly the baby. She loves that. REL is adjusting to me being engaged by signing his emails "soon to be real poor". He has no idea!

Oh, did I mention how cognac is my new at-home drink? I bought a bottle and have since definitly enjoyed it.

Chilled Butter

2005-01-13T16:24:00.000-08:00

Wedding update: The folks at the JOI (Jewish Outreach Institue) are amazing, and have been able to provide me with some rabbis from Butterapolis who will perform a ceremony with Pedro and me. That's an unbelievable burden lifted off of my shoulders. Nothing has been even close to decided yet, but it feels so good just to know there are rabbis out there who will do an interfaith ceremony. Phew.

Life update: Pedro made chili from scratch tonight. His chili has cinnamon, potatoes and chipotle in it. Very interesting. We also set up TiVo tonight, so yay for that. It looks like a lot of fun. Work let the kids out early today, but of course, as staff, I had to stay late. Turns out the roads were better at 4:30 than they were earlier.

This weekend there's that other bridal show, sure to be rediculous but you know I'll be there anyway. I'm trying so hard to not only talk about wedding stuff at work and around Pedro, and since you elect to ride this, you might be subjugated to more than you'd like!

Butter's Really Back

2005-01-10T07:25:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys,
I know it's been for-ev-er since I've last posted, but I've been busy! First things first: I'm engaged! Pedro asked me while we were out to dinner in Chicago for new years. It's been just wonderful planning for becoming Mrs. Pedro. All the parents and friends and such are excited for us, and I think I'm starting to get used to being a fiancee.

Yesterday Pedro and I went to our first bridal show. What a crazy experience. It was packed, of course, and aside from walking around with a sticker that said "I'm getting married" and sampling cake, it was horrible. This showcased every single thing I know I don't want at my wedding. I was most excited for the bridal fashion show-- but when it started out with three girls dancing to Shania Twain in leotards and skimpy tutus, I knew I was in for a shock. The real fashion show started, but these girls were tromping down the catwalk with their full skirts bunched in their fists to Beyonce. Oh, and all these dresses were from the Bridal Barn (SRW, you know what I'm talking about!). There were catering samples from Fazoli's. Do I really have to go on?

Even Pedro thought something was off. He came away from the experience knowing he doesn't want: 1) fondant icing because it tastes bad; 2) a pasta bar because it looks bad; and 3) to wear a vest with his tux because of the same reason he doesn't want a pasta bar.

I'm going to another bridal show next weekend, I think it'll be a little more sophisticated (this past one was in a trashy suburb-- the kind of people who looked at me twice when I told them I live in the city) and it'll also be a lot bigger. And if nothing else, I'll just keep finding out more and more of what I don't want. Sigh.

Rye

2004-12-18T10:51:00.000-08:00

What a long, strange week it's been.

I've been totally swamped at work. Being the Interim Director of Continuing Education seems to mostly have pitfalls, not perks. I've been on the phone with publishers, current students, prospective students, current faculty, prospective faculty, and the true DCE. This is crazy. All of this, on top of my usual librarian duties. This sure is a chance for me to prove myself, and I'm way excited about that. Besides, anyone who knows me knows that I can deligate and take on a lot. It's just crazy, that's all. After this very busy week, Pedro and I had to celebrate the end of his semester, twice. Thursday night our married friends called us, and we played darts and watched karaoke. Last night Pedro and I had dinner at this great little Italian bar where they have Delirium on tap. After, we saw "Kinsey" and had fun seeing some backdrops of Pedro's alma mater. I was so exhausted, we came home and I was asleep by 10:30. What an old lady I am-- this morning Butch woke up at 7:15 and I had no problem throwing on clothes and taking him out. (He's licking my foot right now, FYI).

Today Pedro and I have been cleaning up his place, we might set up TiVo (his Chanukkah present) today. I'm pretty content staying in my B&J tee and Pedro's shamrock pajama pants all day. We might head to the Science Center after lunch, or maybe the art museum. Or maybe we'll just take Butch on a long walk to one of the many dog-friendly coffee shops in our 'hood.

Tomorrow we're going on a field trip to the nearest big college town to see Pedro's alma mater play some ball. Aside from half time shows during my dance team tenure, I've never been to a college basketball game. I'm looking forward to it, particularly since there's a microbrewery in the middle of town. Basketball, beer and Pedro: 3 things sure to make my winter afternoon just a little more merry.

Butter's Mitzvah

2004-12-10T17:51:00.000-08:00

The woman who hired me has had a sick mom for years. This has been escalating and she finally passed this week. I picked up a basket of chocolate, cheese, sausage and crackers and stopped at her home last night, on my way home from work. Right at 5, before I left, I called Pedro and said, "I have no idea how long this will take, but don't worry, you know where I am." Good thing I did, I was at her place from 5:30-10 PM. She, of course, was a mess-- she's been living with her mom, and her family is small and distant. I was really the only person she had to talk to, and with lots of bourbon, talking she did.

But I really feel like this was the nicest thing I've ever done. I didn't even eat dinner last night, I just sat and listened and occasionally laughed and cried. I feel like I made a really great friend last night, one who really needs me as one. She's over 30 years my senior-- I'm on my first job, she's probably on her last-- and it's so nice to have made a friend. We learned stuff about each other that would have never come up at work, and I'm just so glad I did it.

She called me brave for going to her place at all, and she's right, I was brave. I had no idea what I was getting myself in to, but I knew she was alone, and probably wasn't eating right. And I was correct. She was really curious about my relationship with my mother, and told me at least half a dozen times that I should call my mom and congratulate her on raising a really "good girl". It just about broke my heart, I was so touched.

See, this woman is a notorious hardass, and I broke through to her softer side. Maybe she drank me pretty and maybe I caught her at her weakest, but I think it worked for both of us. I'm anxious to see where this relationship goes.

And if nothing else comes of it, I know she'll be a great reference on my resume.

But, But, Butter

2004-12-04T11:42:00.000-08:00

OK, OK, I know you guys have missed me.

The thing is, I can't blog from work, The Man wouldn't like that and I wouldn't like Corporate to see what I do in my off time. And Pedro's borrowed my computer for some time since he ordered a new one after the I and K keys wouldn't work. So I sat on a computer all day at work, and then when I could come home and use my laptop, that was the last thing I wanted to do. So not to worry, I'm not dead or otherwise sick. Just busy. Here's your update:

WORK: Work is great. I love that I get to order as much stuff as I want. Browsing Amazon is kind of my release after I force myself to do something I don't like, like shelfreading. The boss told me he wants to see MORE coming in-- this is a librarian's dream. Acquisitions is the best way to go, I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't get to. It's also so so fun to be the only person in the corporation (save the president) who is in the know for the plans of the future building. My prestige kind of amazes me at times... especially when The Man refers to the girls I sit near out front as "support staff". I am not support staff. I am an administrator.

PEDRO: After a couple of days where he'd go to bed at midnight and be at school at 5 AM, Pedro has finally finished classes for his third semester of law school. The 20 pager is behind him, but that means that he has mad studying to do for finals. Pedro just looks different during finals season: his clothes are all the sudden wrinkled, his skin is breaking out, and his hair is wild. Too much coffee, not enough time with Butter, methinks. But things are going so so well. Right now I'm sitting across from him and taking advantage of free wireless with a cup of tea. He's briefing obscenity, and I'm playing online. We got up early and after rolling around in my clean white sheets for a bit, went to his place and took out Butchie (more on him later). Then we drove 2 miles to check out this other apartment that we might call Our Home. 1200 sq. ft., 2 bedrooms, a deck, sunroom, brand new kitchen, hardwood floors, fenced in yard, puppy friendly, on a hard to find 1 way street... it's kind of perfect. The only bad thing is that it doesn't have parking, meaning I'd have to learn how to parallel park. I know, I've been living in a city my whole life and I've been driving for about 8 years... .

BUTCH: Since I only get paid on the last day of the month, I had to wait to take Butchie to get his shots in December. He has Pet Health Insurance through the Humane Society (Pedro keeps the card in his wallet) so we took him there. Our pupster lost some weight due to his active lifestyle and now weighs 11 pounds. The vet and his assistant just loved Butchie, and he was such a good boy. He got his rabies shot with no problem and has a clean bill of health. Now we can board him over New Years, when Pedro takes me to Chicago. I have the feeling I'll be engaged very very soon.....!

Well, I oughta get going, Pedro and I have a few more apartments to look at this afternoon. I promise I'll be in better touch. Oh, and fellow librarians, why haven't I gotten any snail mail this week? I miss it!

Starchy

2004-11-25T23:55:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving. Pedro and I left early yesterday for Butterapolis to get here in time for Turkey Day. Though we usually spend it alone together, his parents requested us at the last minute. And you know I'm not going to turn down an invitation. So we got here, and I've spent most of today at Pedro's parents' place. It went well: we cooked, we played Monopoly, Butchie attacked the kitty, and now we have RJT over. I've been drinking my fair share of Bailey's, FYI. Since Pedro and I are herbivores, we decided to make an eggplant parmigiana as our festival food. It went well with the wine that shared Pedro's last name (he hand carried it back from Germany this past summer). We also had pumpkin soup (yum), pumpkin pie, and mashed potatoes. All was NOT good for my colitis... but hey, it's a holiday. I really feel a part of this family now. Not only did I spend a major American holiday with them, his mom mentioned that she loved that Pedro was with a smart woman. She was also impressed with my parenting skills of Butchie, as he has made leaps and bounds in the improvement aisle since his last visit here. I'm thankful for a lot of things, especially supportive friends and family, an unbelievable boyfriend and a perfect pooch. Oh, and my education and religion, but I think I'm pretty conscious of those things all the time.

It always feels so so good to be here at home. Whether I'm at Pedro's or my house (right in the same neighborhood, mind you) I can breathe just a little bit easier. Tomorrow DDL is planning on us being at the stores starting at 6 AM. And I believe her. We're going to be running all through town and then I'll be going out all tomorrow night with a whole pack of beautiful men. Pedro, MCH, MEL, RJT, WLM, even JK. That's another good thing about coming home. I get to see all my friends who'll never ever leave. This is really quite comforting to me; particularly since I've moved so so much in the past 5 years. Happy Turkey Day to all....

Lebanese Flatbread

2004-11-17T14:21:00.000-08:00

This is one of the times that I truly love coming in to work at 1:00 PM. I slept in with Butchie and Pedro, and we rolled around and laughed and sang songs. We finally got up, showered (all 3 of us at the same time) and after putting Butchie to sleep, Pedro and I headed out for an early lunch. His friend told him about an awesome Lebanese cafeteria served only on Wednesdays for lunch. So of course we went. This was in the ballroom of a Lebanese Catholic church. Now I'm not sure how many people in Lebanon are actually Catholic, Pedro says maybe 35%, but it was pretty impressive. He kept saying this was like meeting in the middle between my Jewishness and his Catholicness. The people all looked like my people (no surprise, given geography), and it was immediately comfortable for the both of us. We shared a tray, per usual, and picked out hummus, Lebanese bread, tomato salad, rice and lentils, and spinach pie. With a Coke, the total was exactly $10. We topped our meal off with some Lebanese coffee, which was similar to Turkish coffee. Mmmm.... the sun was out, I was full and with Pedro, and life was good. That's the way to start out Hump Day.

Butter's Back

2004-11-15T17:09:00.000-08:00

Oy, sorry for the 2 week vacation. But I'm back.

First, some explanation: Pedro's computer totally broke and he used mine all last week, and I've also been deathly ill with a cold. It's terrible to be sick for over a week. But all that's in the past. Here I am, on my lunch break, eating a Greek salad and enjoying some mango tea. The weather isn't too bad outside, Pedro's car magically started this morning, and I have straight hair today. Not too shabby.

Friday I rushed to Pedro's law school for his "Around the World" beer tour/happy hour. One of his many extracurricular law groups sponsered this happy hour, and Pedro decided to do bottled beer instead of the usual kegs. I was proud of him because it was a huge hit; but I got sad when the secret stash of Butter beers was uncovered and imbibed by others. At least I got a blue margarita at dinner that night to make up for my missing beers.

This weekend was pretty good. Saturday night Pedro and I ran around town with our favorite married couple, LRM and MDM. It's very interesting for us to see them in action. Pedro and I have never really been a fan of going out with other couples, usually because we've lacked the opportunity. But drinking and eating and playing asshole with newlyweds makes me realize more and more how good Pedro and I will be at that game. I also like that we're not hanging out with just law students-- it's nice to be able to have a broader conversation.

Yesterday we drove all over town. First, the farmer's market was closed, which was sad, and then the Nepalese restaurant we've wanted to try was closed too. Stupid Sundays. All was not lost, however, when we stumbled into a true hole in the wall-- a restaurant simply called "Indian Food". Intrigued, we went inside and found about 5 tables and a tiny buffet run by a father and son. The name was decieving, however, as they are actually from Pakistan. The 15 year old son (who looked about 25) told me that "Pakistani Food" just didn't draw the same crowds. The difference between the two cuisines is that the Pakistanis don't use curry. This made my day, as that's my major complaint in Indian food. So now you know.

We also went to a Chinese trading company, just because. We were definitly the only Westerners in the tiny grocer, and it was pretty weird to see the raw red meat right next to the vegetables in the produce department. Women were picking up meat with tongs and putting it into plastic produce bags. Pedro's sure this violates some health codes, but whatever, it was entertaining to see something a little different.

In Butchie news: We got Butchie a new choke chain, and we bought a coffee table, and we had LRM and MDM over. This meant high anxiety for the Butchster. He responds well to the choke chain (we're very humane, don't you worry) but for some reason he feels like he cannot pursue his ground sniffing and BMing outside. He's been having accidents inside, and feeling really bad about it and being nice to Pedro and I. I feel bad for the guy, he's had a lot of changes in the past 2 days. Hopefully our pupster will straighten out and return to his good habits.

Well, just about time for me to go back to work. It's going well today. I looked up neighboring public libraries to see if they have a certain expensive series (they do), I ordered books, and I found out I should be getting a couple of my purchases this week. Oh, and with the assistance of Pedro, I helped a paralegal on some homework. It's days like this that I remember why I decided to do what I do.

Rolling Downhill

2004-11-03T20:35:00.000-08:00

What a long, strange day I've had.

Of course the election is over. You should know my feelings about it without my even writing. And you know, even though I'm heartbroken and dismayed about the state of the union, I had an awesome time last night. After work, Pedro (who had spent all day working the polls) and I headed downtown to the state's Democratic "Victory Party 2004". We got to the ballroom and it was a bustle of media excitement. Pedro later called my space-cadet maneuvering "star struck". I guess he's kind of right. Politicians get me more excited than rock stars and actors.

But anyway, we quickly found my congressman's VIP room. It was the only place we could sit down, nosh a little, and imbibe free beer (donated from our huge brewery-- Pedro's Diet was $3). Watching the returns along fellow Dems felt really good. Especially in the beginning. Of course, I was concentrating a lot on the local elections and cheered every time we were ahead. Coincidentally, that was the entire night. I was decked out in political buttons and stickers, loving all of it. Oh, and my outfit was fa-bu-lous. I even had one lady say, "You go, girl" as I walked--hey, I strut-- through the crowds. Man do I love a party. Especially one full of Dems.

My favorite part of the night came when my candidate gave his acceptance speech. Minutes before he was to appear on TV, the staffers decided we should stand behind him with enormous (think chest-high, 4 men wide) signs bearing his name. We also carried smaller ones up there. I was right on the end when the person in charge said, "We need a woman in the middle of those beefy guys". Of course it was ME.

So there I am, front and center on the bima cheering and dancing with my sign. I held it over the Congressman's head while he spoke and it looked great on TV. I walked in to work this morning and several faculty and students said they saw me. Being the clever librarian, I pulled up a video clip of his speech and there I am, curly hair and lipgloss in full affect. Pedro got pictures, can't wait to get those developed.

We go home after the victory speech (1 of 2 for our state that night...boo...) and camp out on the sleeper sofa in Pedro's living room in front of CNN. Butchie spooned with us and we dozed off to the returns.

So yes. Though today I"m pretty concerned and upset, I had an awesome time last night.

Roll Out

2004-11-01T18:24:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the infrequent posts, but Butter's been busy.

Saturday, at 9:00 AM, I was driving down south to do some serious canvassing. We've moved our HQ temporarily to a sketch area in order to better reach those too poor to afford TV/radio/even a newspaper. I find a parking spot, parallel park on the street, and with my keys out of the ignition, gather my purse and things. All of the sudden, I hear my passenger door open. I look up, see a man trying to get in my car and I scream. Then I lunge over my seat, grab my car door with two hands, and slam it shut. As I fumble to get my keys in the ignition, a crazy woman covered in Cheetos (she only had 3 teeth anyway, it had to have been a challenge) starts yelling and pounding on my car. Guess she wanted in, too. So I manage to peel out of there, not harming any cars or people, and down the street. When I make it to HQ, I burst into tears. My congressman had police swarming the area in no time. After all, the state's most powerful Dems were there.

Yep. Go ahead and add "attempted carjacking" to your Never Have I Ever game. Geez, why I attract the strange stories I"ll never know.

Ask Butter

2004-10-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

Strangest question asked of me (professionally) to date (as in the past 3 weeks that I've been a professional):

How many dimples are on this golf ball?

346.

Driving Miss Butter

2004-10-27T16:14:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was a perfect showing of just how versatile and easygoing librarians have to be. I ended up spending an hour (and 1/8 of a tank of gas) driving around a colleague who managed to lose her keys. We went to the dealership and then to her house. Who but the librarian would do something like that? And you know I did it with a smile.

Pedro and I skipped our Tuesday night swing class and headed to a bar to watch the Sox kick the Cards. It was much fun, especially with a pitcher of Hefeweizen. I love drinking beer and watching a game.

Today I've gotten gobs of compliments on my mint green sweater set. I even mustered up enough courage to tell the girls I got it at Target. They were impressed and starting rattling off their discounted finds. I hope I get paid this week, I've found plenty of un-discounted and cute things online that I'm dying to try on in person.

The campaign is keeping me busy, of course. I'm going to be very glad when it's all over-- I can get a life again. I got my voter registration card yesterday, and to my surprise and delight, I vote in the ballroom of my apartment building. And kids, if you haven't gotten yours yet, and you're registered, don't worry, go to your polling place and vote provisionally. There's my PSA for today.

Really, that's about all I'm thinking about. Pedro's little bro is driving in for the Bobby D. show tonight. DDL is the coolest and bought Pedro tickets for his birthday. I'm not going because I"m working late. That's alright though, I'll cuddle with Butch Butch in the wee hours of the morning.

Melting

2004-10-25T21:37:00.000-07:00

A nice thought from Ms. Sunshine:

Sunshine: you and Pedro look good together, I don't really know him (but plan to eventually), but he appears to be your lobster.
Butter: my lobster?
Sunshine: phoebe on friends once said that lobsters are together for life and that Ross was Rachel's lobster.

I like that mental image.

Buttery

2004-10-25T18:33:00.000-07:00

It makes me sad to hear that my Beantown friends are all unhappy, all at the same time. I was thinking it'd be pretty funny for the four of us to have a reunion on Ellen. I don't know what Ellen would have to do with 4 young and cute former baby librarians, but the thought of librarians mingling on daytime TV sounds really good to me. Way better than at an ALA convention.

My boss wasn't in today, so that meant I got to mess around more than usual. It makes me happy that there was vanilla cake in the lounge. I love eating cake with my hands-- no silverware to be found here.

Yesterday Pedro and I went on a drive through the wine country. I didn't realize it was so extensive through here, but it is! I got a little tipsy "sampling", just like I did with SRW and co. this time last year. It was more fun this year, because Pedro and I got to make out. We also bought a wine rack and a pumpkin. I want to carve Butchie his first pumpkin, probably with a cat face on it. That's scary enough for him.

I guess I oughta try and get a little more work done, I"m having a meeting in the morning about my budget. I'm so excited to go shopping with other people's money. It's also pretty nerve wracking, but I'm positive I can handle it. It was nice today to be in contact with RKY, who I haven't talked to in forever. I just love reconnecting with old friends... especially by means of writing letters.

I Heart Butter

2004-10-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

Last night, after working at the library and the campaign, Pedro treated me to homemade guac and a movie. We saw "I Heart Huckabees" and while I enjoyed Jude Law's unbelievable aqua eyes and the dirtiest sex scene ever, I thought maybe it was trying just a little too hard. At least the characters were likeable. Also, since it was opening night here, we had to sit in the corner seats of the second row. Four guys in Pedro's law school sat in front of us, and I tried to calm down some very bitchy girls who were whining about saved seats and not finding 3 together. Unless you're going to make out in the movie, who cares where you sit? They whined to some other people, "You can't save allllll those seats. That's just like so unfair." I said not too quietly, "I'm sure that wasn't the case at your high school lunch table." I hate stupid girls that complain about things that just don't matter after 5 minutes.

As for today, it's more pounding the pavement for the Congressional campaign. I'm going to be quite glad when I'm not working 12 hour days, 7 days a week. My Butchie daddy misses me. And so does Butch Butch. Because it's getting damp outside in the mornings, Mr. Butch has decided he would much rather defecate on the sidewalk than on any grass. That's embarrassing since I live on a busy street. I pick all of his bodily excretions up, but it's still a little obnoxious.

Congrats to DRD, who made (and sent me) super cool TRW bookmarks. I think delinquent Univ. needs some too. But I couldn't put a list of good books on theirs, I'd have to put things like "ALL TRAFFIC TICKETS CLEARED, $25. NO ATTORNEYS, NO FEES" and "DEBT CONSOLIDATION" and "PATERNITY TESTS HERE". It's not that they are all bad kids, it's that they have really really big problems combined with no self esteem and very little money. I'm very glad they're in school at all, though thinking about what these kids do outside of their time spent at Delinquent University bothers me.

Bet on Butter

2004-10-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

The delinquents decided to skip tonight because of the ball game. I guess that's a pretty delinquent thing to do. I've only done that once-- and it was in college when Pedro's alma mater made it to the basketball finals. And I had money riding on that game, and nobody else thought that team was going to go anywhere. I've always bet on basketball teams blindly-- I'll pick teams because I like their colors (like North Carolina's baby blue), their mascot (the Terapins) or because I know someone who goes there (see above).

Today's been pretty good. I realized I'm way more tech savvy than previously believed, and I wheeled around AV equipment with the greatest of ease. Nobody had a problem with my ensemble today, and how could they: I"m in a cranberry sweater and a black skirt that goes to my ankles. I'm also wearing my brand new trouser socks. I am such a goon.

I talked to DDL today. She's having a bit of a hard time getting back to normal life, after catastrophy. But she's hanging in there. Also, LEC called me, out of the blue. It's so nice to reconnect with a childhood friend. Maybe I'll able to have some Butterapolis representation in my bridesmaid selection.

Oh wait, I'm not engaged.

Yet. The girls at work commented on the enormous fake engagement ring I bought at Payless for $5.99. It's actually quite a nice accessory-- I'm just waiting for someone to tell me it's too big and gaudy and not "appropriate" for work. Fascists!

Roll Call

2004-10-19T00:47:00.000-07:00

By now you know about how rediculous Delinquent University's dress code is. Well yesterday I was gently reminded that if I"m to wear a button down shirt that is tucked into tasteful gray pants, I need to have a coordinating jacket. This rule does not apply if I'm in a skirt. That makes very little sense to me, I'd figure they'd want more coverage if I show my knees.

Today I decided to wear a cute black dress with a striped shirt underneath, nude hose and my cute red shoes. Pedro ruffled his feathers a bit and said I looked the opposite of professional. I got a little upset, after all, I was all ready to leave, but in the end decided he was right and changed into a button down under the dress. Such a mishegaas, I tell you.

Besides the technical difficulties, work has gone well today. I've been reading a lot on solo librarianship because I think I have a good case to have my employer pay for professional memberships. After all, here at Delinquent U. I don't have any professional colleagues to bounce ideas off of.

Tonight is another night of Pedro and Butter Conquer the World of Swing Dancing. There's a silly LLM that knows Pedro is in law school, we might get roped into samba lessons next month. I think it's an absolute riot-- we're taking this class to be better dancers with each other, and last week we didn't even dance together! The circles keep rotating and we dance with everyone in the class but each other. Maybe tonight we'll start with a different partner, just in the hope of catching one another in the hour long class.

It's brrr in here. We have a little foot high space heater at work, but it doesn't do all that much good.

I got an email from SD, now I know he's alive and unmarried. Not that I thought he would be, married that is, but it's just nice to know he didn't act brashly like some of his fraternity brothers (ahem). Also, I got nice letters from 2 former baby librarians yesterday. I need to bring in that cute picture of the 4 of us to let the girls at work know that not all librarians look like little old ladies (I look like one because of the dress code-- I'M IN A JUMPER, NOT A DRESS! That's today's confession!).

Roll Through Town

2004-10-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

After being relatively poor for the past few months, I finally got paid from the Congressman, got two checks from my most recent alma mater, and a sympathy check from REL. It's about time. By my calculations I should get paid from my new job-- my first professionally earned paycheck-- this Friday.

Working at the campaign is so so cool. I love the people I work with, and the little benefits I take advantage of. Like on Friday, when, immediately after a 9-5 day, Pedro and I headed to a wealthy suburb (Burbia, as Pedro calls it) for a reception for this state's democrats. The house was just beautiful, and it was so cool to drink good wine and nosh with old dems. We felt right at home. I want so badly to be able to throw parties like that-- there was a $600 entry fee that I didn't have to pay as I am a paid political operative of a very strong candidate. It's like being BFF with a local celebrity. Pedro and I completed our Burbia night by heading to Olive Garden, where we ate really really gross pasta. Hey, what's a night in the suburbs without a mediocre meal at a chain restaurant?

Saturday I got up nice and early and campaigned for 5 hours. I knocked on 93 doors. Imagine if I was trick or treating, too. That'd be legendary. Today I knocked on 89 doors, pretty rediculous. Hopefully all our hard work will pay off with the dems sweeping this state. I love being involved with politics-- it fufills almost the same need I have to be with other Jews. To be able to walk into a crowded room and just know that you have a lot of idealogical things in common is very important to me.

Oh, I took a Myers-Brigs test, I'm an ESTJ, the "Administrator", 8% of the population. Apparently, I'm very aware of the external environment, good at controlling and scheduling and other things that made me say "duh". The girls at work were all taking it, I decided to get in on the fun. I wonder what Pedro is?

Halloween is coming up, and today I bought my costume. I'm going as a Romanian gymnast, and Pedro will be my creepy coach. It's hilarious. I bought a pink leotard and scrunchies today. And some of those hair clips that the Orthodox use to keep kippah fastened to their hair. Pedro will sport a comb over, mustache and track suit. It's brilliant-- sure to be a hit at the law school shindig. I love couples costumes.... next year I want to be Adam and Eve.

That's about it... tomorrow I start on my second full week of work. I have a lot ahead of me, but I'm trying hard to remember that this is just a job, not my entire life. The world will not end if I don't get everything I want finished. I need to slow down and enjoy the ride.

Yeah right, as if I could ever do that. This is coming from the girl who gave herself ulcers in her rectum from stressing out.

Butter Off Next Time

2004-10-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

Blogging from work!?
Yes. And it's OK because I'm on my laptop, yay for wireless technology. There is no place for me to be. Librarians are normally in the library, yes, but at Delinquent University, there are frequently classes in the library. I tried to be at my very temporary desk, but there are interviews happening in that room. So I tried the server room, realized there was no desk, and moved to the faculty offices. The one normally free computer was taken. Then I moved to the teacher's lounge and the Big Cheese took pity on me and moved me into this room of cubicles, the room where I'm kicking 6 people out just so I can have my big 'ole office all to myself. Awesome.
It feels amazing to be faculty, when just a matter of months ago I was a student. I guess that's how it happens. It's a pretty nice powertrip, though. Butchie and Pedro miss me a lot during the day, but at least they have each other. I'm still campaigning through the end of the month, meaning I spend more than half of a 24 hour day far away from home. I hate traffic and lame radio morning shows. I love walking in and out of work whenever I want and not having to tell anyone what I"m up to. I'm the boss of me! I'm trying to make it so I report directly to the Big Cheese, instead of reporting to the woman right under him. Big Cheese likes me, I think. After all, he's meeting with the architect today to help make my library as good as possible.
The librarian who came before me is now selling cellular phones. She quit this job to work at a call center for a big company.
Big Cheese just informed me that he's setting up a desk for me in the very front for my temporary quarters. Now I"ll have a chance for sunshine-- Delinquent University is just like Initech (Office Space, for those of you who are a little slow). Time to set up my new computer!

It'll be Butter in the Morning

2004-10-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

To continue on this unusually bad streak that's been coming my way, I got some upsetting family news last night. I don't really want y'all to know, just know that I'm a little preoccupied with someone else's health.
But anyway, Pedro turned the big 23 Saturday. We spent the afternoon shopping for new shoes for him (what he decided on look to me like what a pilgrim would wear if going to outerspace) and having a leisurely lunch of sushi. Now I know that my colitis diet needs to be low fiber, low dairy, low everything but bread it seems. So I was feeling pretty bad after that lunch. But still, the show must go on. RJT and DAH were driving in from Butterapolis and I wanted to feel extra good. I put on too much make up, made my hair big, and tried to channel the once healthy Butter into having a good time. I was a little sad I couldn't indulge in the Mexican food we had for Pedro's birthday dinner (I had some rice and ice water... mmmm) and after we headed back to my apartment.
Let it be on record that Pedro and I have a record for getting naked with DAH and RJT. I don't know what it is, but we've been playing Strip Asshole for years. I nursed one beer all night (still managed to feel a little tipsy) and the 4 of us played Strip Asshole with one of my roommates and another friend of ours.
Then, a short while later, all 6 of us are butt ass naked. And what do I decide we need to do? Jump in my mirrored elevator, and ride 10 floors to the top of the building and then back down to my floor. Everyone agreed for some reason, and that's what we did. I haven't been naked in a while, it felt good. I think Pedro had a nice birthday.
And as for today, I start work. My hours suck on Monday and Wednesday, 2-10 PM. At least I have the mornings free with Butchie. Please wish me luck, I'm intimidated like nobody's business.

Butter's Disease

2004-10-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

Bad news on my healthfront. After a most incredible high of Demerol and telling the nurses to look at the pictures of my colon, the reality of it kind of sunk in. I have ulcerative colitis, which is closely related to Crohns Disease, but it's localized. So I have chronic ulcers in my rectum. The suppositories I have to use for the next 6 weeks make me feel terrible, and I have zero energy. Today's Pedro's birthday and I didn't even wrap his presents or bake him a cake. I'm a bad girlfriend. Or at least just a sick one. The histology is going to come back sometime next week on all of this, so I might actually learn what caused this or whatever. My pamphlets say this tends to run high among the under 30 set, and especially in Jews for whatever reason. Also, this could explain all that great weightloss I had this summer. Damnit. I knew it couldn't have been a good thing.

So don't worry, I'm not dieing (yet) but I have no idea what's really wrong with me and I feel like shit. Thanks for asking.

Librarian Butter

2004-10-07T15:43:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, start your engines!

I GOT THE JOB!

I'm thrilled. I just can't believe it. And I'm starting to realize what an immense amount of responsibility is ahead of me, this entire library is now resting on my shoulders. I'm in love with my new job.

But here's the funny story about today. I got the call at about 12:45, 45 minutes after I started my intense laxative regiment for tomorrow's colonoscopy. So basically, I kind of need to be within sight of a toilet. Taking Butchie out for a short walk was a challenge. The woman on the phone asked me to come in to fill out an I9 and W4 and all of that--today. So I had to take one last potty break, and hope I didn't get stuck in traffic for the 15 mile ride to my new library. Luckily, I didn't have any accidents, and tonight I got permission to man the phones instead of pounding the pavement.

So yes. Happy happy joy joy. The only bad thing is that I can't even properly celebrate since I can't eat til tomorrow. Hopefully my colon business will all pan out too. If anyone has any suggestions for how to build a library from scratch, lemme know because I start work Monday!

Super Roll

2004-10-06T11:08:00.000-07:00

Finally, my life seems to be moving in the direction I demand. I'll use REL's favorite word, "Super".Here, your Cliff's Notes to Butterama:

1) My blood work came back normal from last week's appointment. I thought I'd be anemic, but no, I'm super healthy. I still have to go to my colonoscopy Friday, even though I really don't want to.

2) Work on the campaign is super fun. I wear an enormous tee shirt that only old women like, and run around working class neighborhoods I would otherwise never see. I call it trick or treating, since I'm going door to door as the sun goes down. I wish someone would offer me some candy instead of a cold shoulder.

3) Pedro is super for signing us up for Tuesday night swing lessons at his school. Finally, a chance to wear my silver stilletos! All dance classes are good, and it's like lingerie-- you can never have enough.

4) My stuff for my career in bartending came yesterday. Now I have professional equipment. It's quite possible I could have about 4 jobs going at once because...

5) I had a super job interview yesterday. There's a good chance I could be landing my dream job any day now... building a library from scratch as a solo librarian at an up and coming academic institution. This means I'd be in charge of programming, reference, cataloging, acquisitions, you name it. Basically, a library goddess. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE this job. So I sent them salary requirements and references today, and hopefully this will all pan out. Of course I'll keep y'all posted.

Butter Saw God

2004-10-03T15:44:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Sassers:

The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

1.
Reform Judaism (100%)
2.
Liberal Quakers (85%)
3.
Sikhism (81%)
4.
Unitarian Universalism (78%)
5.
Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (73%)
6.
Orthodox Judaism (72%)
7.
Islam (70%)
8.
Bahá'í Faith (64%)
9.
Neo-Pagan (56%)
10.
Secular Humanism (54%)
11.
Orthodox Quaker (48%)
12.
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (47%)
13.
Jainism (47%)
14.
New Age (45%)
15.
Jehovah's Witness (42%)
16.
Hinduism (41%)
17.
Mahayana Buddhism (41%)
18.
New Thought (41%)
19.
Scientology (38%)
20.
Eastern Orthodox (37%)
21.
Roman Catholic (37%)
22.
Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (37%)
23.
Seventh Day Adventist (36%)
24.
Theravada Buddhism (35%)
25.
Nontheist (33%)
26.
Taoism (32%)
27.
Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (25%)

Guess I'm pretty happy with my upbringing. I wonder how many people can say that, honestly?

Butter for Congress

2004-10-01T14:29:00.000-07:00

In just a few hours I get to return to the workforce, like a valid member of society.

But I know you guys don't care about that. You want to hear how my tushie appointment went yesterday. After Pedro took me out for coffee and a bagel, he walked me over to my new doctor's office. I filled out a bazillion forms, and met my new doc. Here's a hint for everyone-- if you're going to have a very uncomfortable, probably embarrassing appointment, the least you can do is wear your favorite lingerie and jewelry. So I did. My doctor was nice, and was a bit shocked after learning I'd been bleeding down there all day, every day, all summer. She looked at my tush, and said I have a "remarkably small anus."

Upon hearing that, MEL said, "Butter, I do NOT want to know about these things."
REL said, "Yeah, and a big mouth."
DDL said, "Butter.... hehehehehehehehehehheehe"
Pedro said, "Ha, yeah you do."
and Butchie said, "WOOF"

Of course I laughed. And I was glad, this meant she wasn't going to put her flashlight up there. But I had to have some blood work done, she thinks I'm anemic to say the least, and I have a colonoscopy scheduled for a week from today. Next Friday, if you want to send flowers ;). It's going to take 3 hours, and they give me an IV of something that will make me forget about the entire experience. Pedro's going to take care of me, as I'll probably be a lump of goo. This will certianly be something to write about. Who knows what's wrong up there?

Dude, I'm Getting a Roll

2004-09-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

Wish me luck, my tushie appointment is scheduled for 11 AM tomorrow morning. The great thing about living down the street from the second best medical school in the country is that I am walking to my appointment. My guess is that even if I wanted to drive, I won't want to sit after this one. UGH. Pedro, of course, is being supportive, but I'm going to do this one alone. Taking it like a man. Biting the bullet. More like grabbing my ankles and praying for a miracle.

Bloody details aside (hehehe, I can't help myself sometimes) I'm doing alright. I've rediscovered an old, fond love of mine: writing letters. Real letters, not email. I wish postage wasn't getting so expensive, same with stationary. But the thing is that it's all worth it when I get one teensy real-life reply to one of my signature ramblings. Everyone should take time out of their day to drop an old friend a note. Not to sound too Catholic-school, but who knows where the receiver is in their life the day they get something in the mail that's not a bill or junk?

What else is new. I've been eating too many Rice Krispie treats. I wish my roomies would help me eat them, but since I'm the one home all day, it's like I just can't help myself. I had a dream last night I was pouring endless vodka martinis-- probably because of my upcoming bartending classes. I think it'll be fun. Just like my first job at Baskin-Robbins. You know, it's really tempting to go back to scooping. Think they'd make me an instant manager at Ben & Jerry's?

Sick Butter

2004-09-28T10:12:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me know that I love going to doctors and hospitals. The order of it all is enough to make this librarian squeal with delight. RDS will probably remember a different side of me in a certain Boston hospital, shaking and hyperventalating at the mere mention of a blood sample. Details. My points: I exercise regularly, I eat right, I take vitamins... I'm a healthy gal. Well, almost.

Never one to neglect my health, I seemed to have done just that. After my last visit home, DDL informed me that it is not normal to have internal bleeding, and that I need to see a specialist right away. She even went through the hassle of finding the "Find a Dr." number for the hospital near me. REL took a slightly different approach and said, "Jesus! How'd you do that?" as if it was somehow my doing.

Internal bleeding is nothing to laugh at, and yet that's all I can seem to do. I think it's hilarious. I've started referring to it as my "tushie tumors" and told Pedro that if he proposed while I was hooked up to an oxygen tank in a hospital bed it'd be total soap opera (no, that's not what I want, just a funny idea). So yeah. I have the names of some gastroenterologists that I have to call this afternoon.

This is going to be the most terrible appointment of my life. It's not like getting your tonsils checked, or even going to the gyno. This is The Big Deal. The last thing I want is a camera shoved way up there, after they draw a pint of blood. I'm getting nervous just thinking about it. And I'm not in any pain right now, by the way. But yeah, I guess REL and DDL and Pedro are right: this just isn't normal.

No Rolls

2004-09-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

Butchie, Pedro and I made the trek once again back to Butterapolis for the conclusion of the High Holidays. Boy, if Pedro isn't a part of my family now, I don't know what it'd take. My grandfather, who looks an awful lot like Jerry Stiller, told Pedro and I that we were "good Jews" for staying for the full 5 hours of synagogue fun time. Little does he know, Pedro isn't Jewish (yet. Oops, did I type that aloud?) He even kept the fast with me, and we broke it with RDH and JVH in a 3.5 hour feast. I love my family and being Jewish-- the 24 hours spent not eating or drinking culminated with enough calories and carbs to keep me afloat for the next week.

After contemplating aloud to REL that I was thinking about becoming a bartender, he broke down and offered me a pretty swell part time job, working online. This means I get to play with Butchie and finally have some regular income. Also, I'm working for the month of October for a certain Congressman, harrassing the people in my neighborhood for their takes on the upcoming election. Again, steady income is something to celebrate. Plus, I think it'll be a pretty sweet deal.

KLP, feel better again, will you? And come out to see me!

Tortillas

2004-09-22T00:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Pedro and I managed to eat Mexican twice. First, we tried out the new place in our neighborhood. It was pretty good, but the portions were skimpy. Then, much later, on our way to custard we got sidetracked by a hole in the wall Mexican joint. Butchie was sweetly asleep in his carseat, so we had a couple of drinks. I love shady Mexican restaurants. The excessive beer signs, being called "senorita", over-painted plaster, ever-present crucifix on a wall, and vinyl booths just get me all excited. It's my new goal to get absolutly plastered in one, so much that I slide right down the booth.

Butchie and I walked all around campus yesterday when Pedro was in a big deal meeting. It was great, and everyone of course loved Butch (complete with his new 'do-- a sky-high ponytail) but when he saw squirrels he'd freak out and start yelping. Guess they're close to his size. He also made me look like a gangly googly eyed freshman, making me watch the boys playing tennis (Butchers loves tennis balls). What a great dog we have.

On the advice of Pedro, I applied to do some work for the upcoming election. We'll see if I get picked (probably not, from my recent record). I think I might also do some promotional work... that could be fun and lucrative. REL had the nerve last night to tell me maybe I should look at jobs in Butterapolis since I'm unhappy and unemployed here. Right, and return home in defeat? I told him I'd rather take off my clothes for dollars than do that.

I've also decided-- still on the subject of having no pride left-- that I might as well break down and work at a bookstore. Hey, it's still books, yes? At least that's better than folding khakis at Gap. I told Pedro, as I will tell all of you, that if I don't get hired at a bookstore that is hiring, I will throw myself out of my sixth floor window with glee.

Rolling Home

2004-09-20T00:15:00.000-07:00

Pedro, Butchie and I have been out of touch for the past several days because we went back to Butteropolis for the weekend. It was great to see friends and family again, especially since nearly all of my friends my own age are struggling to get a job and all of that. I miss seeing average 22 year olds. There's a big difference in company there.

So Pedro and I looked bigtime at houses. Back home. We can afford a big 'ole house in a fun area at the ripe age of 24. He thinks that I'm overall happier and nicer to people in Butteropolis. That could be... and after all the traveling and living all over that I've done, I don't think it'd be defeat. In fact, it could be the best option we have. Of course, a lot can happen in the next 2 years.

Another intereting thing happened this weekend. It was the first time the two of us went home together, and we pushed it a little bit and slept at each other's houses every night. Not in the same bed, of course, but this was a big step-- we live less than a mile away from each other, meaning it wouldn't have been hard to make it home every night. We also got called "The Old People" by WLM, as he was introducing us to B. I scoffed, as WLM is a tiny bit older than me, but I guess there's some truth to it. I can't drink like I used to, Pedro and I looked at houses, we're in a stable, normal, healthy, long term relationship.... hell, I don't even drive as fast as I used to.

Sigh. In other news, we all went out to fun gay bars. A girl needs a good drag show every now and then. I wish I could be a drag queen... I think I'd be great at it. I ran into a guy from Sunday school-- he and I go way back-- and that was entertaining. I hadn't seen him since I was about 16, I guess I still look exactly the same. We're going back to Butterapolis for the second half of the High Holidays this upcoming weekend. I expect fun times to be had at Butterapolis University.

Sourdough

2004-09-15T00:16:00.000-07:00

I have had some of the most annoying things in the world happen lately:

1) Butchie keeps getting carsick. Pedro reminded me last night that Butchie is a nationalist, not a mulilateralist, after he threw up on the UN Charter and a Beatles album, both in the backseat. We're coming to terms with our slightly-right-leaning doggie.

2) I've sent out gobs of resumes and yet nobody is getting back to me. I reexamined my resume and cover letter, I'm not seeing any blaring mistakes or redflags saying, "Don't hire me: I'm a nutjob" or anything like that...

3) It seems also that I have the life everyone else wants... wants to micromanage, that is. As if it's not hard enough to deal with my jobless (and therefor less fiscally fruitful) time, I have to put up with those who think I'm not doing enough. Or those who think I should be doing things differently than at my own Butter pace. Maybe this is just especially hard because I haven't been hearing the usual praises and congratulations that I'm used to. Maybe this is how the other half live, as DDL says.

Or maybe people are just plain mean and self absorbed and like to take their own shortcomings out on the first person they talk to.

Harumph.

But, a very happy birthday to Sassers, who doesn't piss me off at all! I miss you, wish I could be there and watch 'Wrasslin She Babes Vol. 3 like we did last year...

Crusty Loaves

2004-09-13T14:06:00.000-07:00

DDL came into town this weekend, and true to form, Pedro and I were treated to too much food, drink, shopping, and other extras. We went to dinner Saturday night with 8:30 reservations and walked out of there, sated, at 11. DDL managed to parallel park just barely off the sidewalk. Let's hear it for pre-dinner martinis! We spent too much time and money at the mall, and Pedro even tagged along for most of that. The greatest thing, however, was on Sunday when we went to the zoo. I had to beg DDL not to buy a camera, she was so thrilled to be at the zoo with her daughter, even if her daughter is 22. It is true that at the grocery store the stockman looked at me like I was nuts when DDL told me milk stays colder in glass bottles and I replied that it made sense, it's just like beer. He told me I looked 13 or 14. DDL was of course thrilled, that meant that she looked young enough to have a child that age. Sigh, one of these days I'll appreciate this.

And a very big congratulations to ML who is now engaged!

Rolling Hills

2004-09-09T15:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been MIA, it's been a little hectic 'round these parts... Here's what I've been up to, and what I've been eating.

Friday: Pedro and I went to a MLB game. Lots of beer, stadium nachos, and a good time had by all. I rediscovered my love of rum and Coke, too.
Saturday: REL and CDL came into town and met Butchie. We ate at Pedro's favorite Italian place and afterwards had mango sorbet.
Sunday: Latkes from the Kosher deli before REL and CDL took off. Pedro and I took Butchie to the nearest mountains (3.5 hours away) and found out that our darling son gets carsick. Every half hour. All over my lap. 'Twas a stressful drive, indeed.
Monday: The greatest salt water taffy ever was enjoyed alongside huge diet cherry Limeades from Sonic, America's Drive In. This drive wasn't too bad, Butchie enjoyed the highway over the scenic mountain drive.
Tuesday: I ate avocado rolls and edamame twice. Yep, I've developed a sushi addiction. Also, I ate some of the trashbag (literally) of popcorn REL brought me.
Wednesday: After Pedro beat me at putt putt while we were on our mini vacation, I owed him Mexican at our favorite place.
And today, Thursday, Pedro, Butch and I went to eat sushi again but we had so much fun Pedro missed a class he spent all morning preparing. Oops.
Really, guys, that's it. Life is pretty boring right now, I'm sorry to say. DDL is coming in this weekend, which I'm sure will be eventful.

Rolling Hills

2004-09-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

Here's why I've been out of touch this past weekend:

Friday: Pedro and I went to a baseball game where we ate stadium nachos and enormous plastic cups of beer. After, we went to an oyster bar and I rediscovered my love of rum and Coke. Pedro saw a girl who went to high school with us (a girl I really didn't even recognize) and we talked for a bit. The company at our table was surprised how I went from "Who are you?" to "Let's do lunch!" in about 10 minutes. Thank you, charm school! After we left the oyster bar, Pedro, Larry and I wanted to meet other friends in a different neighborhood. Pedro thought we should walk, and I was in very cute though very uncomfortable pointy orange and khaki pumps with a matching tube top. We played Rescue the Princess and he carried me for a bit. We never did meet up with the other crowd, but we stopped at another little neighborhood pub for a very cheap round ($9) and then took a cab home. Then Pedro and I had a little bubble bath at my place.

Saturday: REL and CDL showed up for their annual visit. After they met their first grandson (Butch) we walked around the neighborhood and later went to Pedro's favorite Italian restaurant for din din. We ate a leisurely dinner and then spent a lot of time getting ice cream after. Then, after REL and CDL went back to their hotel, Pedro and I rented a movie and had some wine. Of course I fell asleep on the couch.

Sunday: We met REL and CDL for brunch, and then they took off. At the same time, Pedro and I threw Butchie's stuff together and we headed west to the local mountains. We took a scenic route for the 3 hour drive, and poor Butchie got carsick all over my lap. Every half hour. Pedro doesn't have AC in his little car, so it was hot, I was covered in dog puke, and feeling pretty lowsy. We get to the hotel and 1) Pedro's name isn't on the register 2) all of the sudden the formerly dog friendly hotel is dog unfriendly 3) the beautiful hotel pool is located in the middle of the parking lot, facing a busy street. The day went so poorly all Pedro and I could do was laugh. We put Butch in Pedro's sachel and took him to the room. We tossed and turned all night, worrying about Butch and unable to get comfortable in the horrible bed. But Monday would be another day.

Monday: We all woke up bright and early and went for a big hike. Butchie and Pedro went swimming at the beach, it was just so cute. Then we went miniature golfing. But this wasn't just any course, it was amazing. There were sandtraps, multiple waterfalls, many layered holes, we were in heaven. We drove home on the highway (not the scenic route) and Butch only got sick once. It was kind of pathetic, this time Pedro cleaned up Butchie's mess and then HE started to gag. Oh, the men in my life with their sensitive stomachs...

Tuesday: After treating myself to sushi for both lunch and dinner, Pedro called on his way home from a late class saying he was going to treat me to custard. I sat outside his apartment on the stoop, patiently waiting. Not 5 minutes after I sat down, a guy crossed the street and sat down next to me.
Him: "Where's that cute dog of yours?"
Me, laughing, "He's asleep for the night."
Him: "So what's your name?"
Me, not laughing, "I really don't think that's appropriate."
Him: "Why not? I never thought it was a crime to ask someone's name."
Me: "I'm sorry, I'm not interested in you."
Him: "You fucking bitch. I'll tell you this much, you're gorgeous on the outside."
He gets up to leave; I get a little nervous and tell him shakily to have a nice night. Then I get on my phone and yell at Pedro, telling him to hurry up. See, the reason why I got so nervous was because this guy recognized me from walking Butch. I'm by myself too much in this city, and I don't like how people are starting to know where I live and when Butch and I go out. Ugh. Another reason I need a job.

So there. With this marathon post, you are now caught up on my labor day extravaganza. Time for Butchie's walk; hopefully I won't run into any crackheads.

Rolled Over

2004-09-02T18:57:00.000-07:00

At about 230 this afternoon, I was chilling at Pedro's with Butchie on my lap when I felt what I thought was a tiny earthquake. Thinking nothing of it, I went on reading until Pedro came home and said, "Did you see what's going on?"

Turns out that the crane in front of my apartment building that had been working on the roof of the building next door totally flipped over.

Weirdest thing ever. I live on a pretty busy street, and here's this enormous crane on its' side. I can't believe it didn't hit the buildings, or any of the cars parked in the street, or really anything important. Just some landscaping. So yeah, there's yellow tape all over the front of my building, it's a good thing the bar we're going to tonight is within walking distance.

Good thing Butch and I weren't out walking at that time, like we could've.

Buttered Up

2004-09-01T16:33:00.000-07:00

A true story of my mid-morning walk with Butchers:

I'm on my street, talking to Butch as though he were a real person (We live this way, remember? Come with me, please.) when we come across a rather friendly dweeb on the sidewalk. Unlike the usual crackheads that come our way, Butch and I knew this guy was harmless. So when he started petting Butch and talking to him in baby talk (which I totally disapprove of, that's a whole other story) I sighed and shifted my weight around, a sure sign I was ready to leave. Butch was getting all excited now, and the guy finally went on his way while the dog looked at some trees. About 20 feet ahead of us, I notice the guy stops and gets something out of his backpack. I'm still trying to stall with Butchie, as I know that guy is stalling so Butch and Butter can catch up to him. This is right in front of Pedro's apartment, so I start going up on the lawn. The dweeb follows me on to the grass and hands me his 8x10 glossy stapled to his resume.

This could be one of the ballsiest "must get cute girl with her cute dog" moves I've ever been a part of. I awkwardly took the sheet, all the while thinking this was totally strange, and went to Pedro's place. Upstairs, I realized that the poor guy must be trying awfully hard to do whatever it is he does... after all, he gave his CV and headshot to a girl walking a 12 pound dog.

Feeling guilty for acting like an ice queen to a harmless little dork, I called the number on the sheet, figuring I'd get a cell phone. Not so. Pretty sure I called his MOM's house. Here's how the message I left went:

Hey, this is Butchie's mom, you just met us on the street. I wanted to apologize if I seemed crass, I just moved from New England and I'm a little sceptical of on-the -street Midwestern kindness. So anyway, best of luck to you and your acting career. Take care.

Now I don't feel like an icy bitch.

Oh, and a very happy birthday to MEA!

Cheesesteak Rolls

2004-08-31T00:08:00.000-07:00

Pedro was a good dad and bought Butchie vegetarian dog chews that are supposed to taste like cheesesteaks. Butch loved them, but his digestive tract did not. Poor Butchie. Instead he much preferred the 2-tennis balls on a string combo, which he likes to shake like a Polaroid picture.

I've decided I'm at the end of my rope, too, with this whole job searching. I think I'm going to do the temp agency thing. Then at least it'll rest in my mind that this non-professional life I'm leading is temporary (even though everyone else seems to think I'm going to land a professional job in the near future). Why can't I get hired? No, this is not a pity party, I'm just honestly curious. I don't want excuses, I want the real, true to life answer.

Yesterday I went to an early morning hi/lo class, and out of the dozen or so bored women there I managed to attract only the attention of a 75 year old man. He does a mean grapevine.

REL and CDL are coming in this weekend to meet their granddog. I'm hoping for a mean Target run, too.

I realize how disjointed this post may seem, but that's what's going on right now. Yesterday I managed to have a headache that lasted a full 12 hours. I consider that a personal accomplishment.

Saltines

2004-08-29T00:38:00.000-07:00

What a weekend. Pedro definitly overdid it Friday night and paid for it all weekend. We toured Budweiser with MCH and got free beer. Then, we came back to my place and the three of us drank some more. I felt like I was cheating on RKY by having a bottle of Boone's. The boys drank Colt 45... always a sign of a dangerous night. We hung out for a bit at happy hour and, after a little disappointment from the lack of good invites, we headed back to my place so I could change. The boys had some more beer, and we watched a little of Kill Bill. Finally, we decided to go to a new vodka bar in the neighborhood, where we met up with some friends. Pedro had 3 martinis in rapid succession, and before we knew what was happening, he was wasted and MCH and I carried him out of the bar before we were kicked out.

I carried him up to the apartment, and put him to bed after forcing him to sip some Pedialyte. At about 1:00AM I could feel him stirring, and that's when I realized he was throwing up. On me. In bed. I cleaned him up, threw the sheets in the washer, and put him on the futon. When he woke up in the morning, he was super confused and had no idea what was going on.

After this enormous hangover subsided, I think he got a stomach flu. He threw up about 9 times yesterday, and I was there for it all. Red Gatorade, yellow Gatorade, soup, saltines, a slice of frozen pizza, Diet Sprite... it all came up. And I cleaned it up. He hasn't left the house in two days, but I think he's finally starting to feel better, because he's eating instant mashed potatoes.

So I'm girlfriend of the year, I think, and Butchie has gotten quite used to relying only on his mom while his dad is sick. This must be what parenting is like-- not sleeping through the night, cleaning and feeding, cleaning and feeding, all for about 30 minutes of calm. He's worth it.

Butter's Bullseye

2004-08-27T09:38:00.000-07:00

Since MCH is in town, Pedro and I get to play host and hostess, my favorite game. Actually, it's my second favorite game after Rescue the Princess (that's where Pedro carries me across icky ground to nicer territory). We went to a Vietnamese restaurant which was actually pretty good--normally I hate fried tofu. The best part, though, was when we went to a bar down the street to play darts.

I've never played darts before. MCH was actually pretty good. I enjoyed that our three darts said DART BITCH on them, with a rose next to them. I wonder where that comes from? Then we watched really bad karaoke, like there's anything BUT really bad karaoke, and after a couple of pitchers the boys were ready to go.

I was the DD and Pedro couldn't shake his hiccups, so I used an old trick from DDL that always works: lick mustard off the end of a silver knife. Never ever doubt a Jewish mother's remedy.

Rolling Around

2004-08-25T14:27:00.000-07:00

I've had so much time on my hands due to my unemployed state (no, I do NOT want to talk about it) that I've decided to spend my time productively at the library. I just finished reading How my Breasts Saved the World: Misadventures of a Breastfeeding Mom by Lisa Wood Shapiro. Very strange to read over 200 pages about breastfeeding. I learned a lot, I guess, and it was entertaining. It made me very glad I'm a dog mom instead of a traditional one. Now I've just started What Makes a Man by Rebecca Walker. 22 essays on, well, what makes a man. I'm curious, since I'm not one.

MCH is supposed to arrive today and stay through the weekend. This is good, he and I have always gotten along, as he just turned 21 and I feel like I did. So we both find great pleasure in going to liquor stores in the middle of the afternoon and drinking our days away. Too bad Pedro is being responsible and working all day today, on his day off from school.

Did I mention how awesome it is to finally have a boyfriend in my same zipcode? So important.

Too bad this zipcode is full of creepshows. Butchie and I encountered an oily bastard on a bicycle this morning who kept circling the half block we were walking. Butch has little legs (remember he's smaller than most adult cats) and we don't go too fast. The guy on the bike finally asked me, "Can I ask you a question?" To which I responded, "Yeah, what." He said, "Do you know me?" I answered, "Of course I don't. This is why I'm minding my own business and taking care of my dog right now." Luckily, Butchie was ready to go back inside. Ugh, the losers I encounter.

Butter, Butch and Baton Bob

2004-08-24T15:25:00.000-07:00

Today I've decided that I do in fact have a job: I'm a stay at home dog mom. And proud of it.

Butchie and I had fun today. I learned that it's far easier to walk him past Einstein's and Panera and other restaurants than it is to walk him past the many hospitals in my neighborhood. Butch loves staring at people, and so do I, so now I have a real reason to. For the second day in a row now we've encountered Baton Bob, a crossdressing-whistle blowing-baton twirling- tutu wearing-neighborhood mascot. No joke. Butch loves to stare at his majorette boots, and is fascinated by his whistle. I guess Baton Bob has his MBA or something, and his partner owns most of my neighborhood. Hell, if I had a rich partner, I'd be as eccentric as I'd wanna be, too.

Pedro surprised Butch and I midday with yellow lilies. Use your imagination to guess what happened next.

What Butch has eaten, so far: 2 pairs of my underwear, 1 of Pedro's socks, 1 of my flipflops, and about a dozen votive candles. To be fair to Butchie, all of these things had been hiding out under Pedro's bed.

Reflections of Butter

2004-08-22T18:49:00.000-07:00

Another week down, another one to go. Last night, after a corny law school luau, Pedro, roommates and I went to Pedro's favorite bar. Or rather, what used to be his favorite bar, before last night. It sucked, to put it mildly... one of my roomies got thrown out, and another friend of ours got in trouble with shady bouncers.

See, this place is in a terrible area of an already terrible city. Word is that the bouncers actually walk single girls to their cars-- the location is that bad. But we went anyway, as Pedro used to like it. The music was loud, the dance floor was packed, the people were attractive-- this had all the makings of a good time. But it was weird. Nobody looked like they were in charge, and after about 15 minutes we hightailed it outta there.

We went next door to a bar with no cover, a bar filled with Losers, Dorks, and Assholes. Pedro enjoyed the cheap jukebox, my fellow lansman AZ and I enjoyed people watching. I started to get antsy and we decided to go to the corner, outside. Here's where the night got even weirder.

While standing outside, waiting for a cab, AZ, Pedro and I witnessed an almost fight between a fat guy with muttenchops and a skinny guy with stupid tattoos.
Tattoo: "Bon Jovi is gay."
Muttenchops: "Ohmygod dude, take that back. I'm serious, man, that's not funny."
(Meanwhile, Butter, Pedro and AZ are the opposite of feeling threatened by the pending altercation)
Tiny Asian guy stepped in and tried to hold Tattoo and Muttenchops back from each other.

As entertaining as this conversation was, it was nothing compared to another conversation we became a part of, on the same corner:
Homo #1: "That bar su-ucked." (In order to really get that, you need to make the word sucked into two syllables.)
Homo #2: "Uh huh. Glad we got our money back from the bouncers. We were spitting all over them and they were just like, 'here's your money, get outta here.'"
Homo #1: "I was just too gay for that bar."
Homo #2: "It was nothing but sausages and cheerleaders." (At this time, I was wondering aloud if I was a sausage or a cheerleader, and whether I liked that or not)

Then, we got in our cab, AZ the friendly midwesterner decided to entertain the cabbie, I was silent, this I guess was his attempt at a backwards version of Taxicab Confessions. We learned that some girls braided his mullet earlier that night.

End of story.

Day Old Bread

2004-08-19T19:37:00.000-07:00

According to the Princeton Review, Butter's undergraduate alma mater ranked #5 in best private college bargains. Although REL sent me the link, I have the feeling he disagrees with the magazine's decision. Especially after footing that bill for a number of years.

And what, pray tell, do I have to show for my years of private schooling?
Well manicured nails.
A boyfriend I met from home, not college.
A hatred of womens' colleges.
A thorough knowledge of medieval war tactics.

Low Fat Butter

2004-08-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

I've decided that because of my obnoxious amount of time on my hands, I will start working out at the gym REL's already paid for obsessively. Because I can. And then I'll actually reap the benefits by having a body like 50 Cent's. See, I would take up knitting and make Butch and Loren matching sweaters, but it's hot here and I don't have anyone to teach me.

In other hobby news, Mango Malibu and pineapple juice is terrific. Already, after being here just one week, my tolerance is slowly working its' way back to Wisconsin-level.

Buttered Politics

2004-08-16T23:26:00.000-07:00

So as Pedro and I were strolling towards our dinner destinations tonight (Burrito for me, Vietnamese for him) talking about liberal rural politics, a dweeb in shorts asks if we like hip hop. Sceptical of his slant, we exchange raised eyebrows and realize he's registering people to vote. The hip hop question was supposed to entice us, because if we registered we'd get tickets to some rap show. As I just moved here last week, I decided now was as good of a time as any to register. And you should too, even if you don't get tickets to a rap show out of the deal.

Wisconsin-bre(a)d

2004-08-16T23:22:00.000-07:00

Today helped me reappreciate one of my best traits: keeping in good touch with good people. I had lunch with a friend from college who I hadn't seen since graduation; he felt comfortable enough to call me and say he was passing through my neck of the woods on his way to the drrrrrty south. 'Twas nice indeed.

Also, today marks the end of my very first week here. I figure this is one down, 99 or so more to go. I moved across the street from Pedro last weekend, this past weekend we got a baby, and so I figure he'll propose next weekend, the weekend after that we'll get married, and the following week I'll be pregnant.

Just kidding. But yeah, one week down, 99 more to go.

Baby Roll

2004-08-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

We have a new baby named Butch.

After searching high and low at three different shelters for Pixie, we found Butch, a 12 pound Pomeranian/Shih Tsu/ Lhasa Apso mix. He's absolutly adorable and perfect. He's Pedro and my son. Now I need a cute purse for him to ride around in, he loves to be near us. He wimpers only when he can't see both of his parents, and slept well through the night with no "surprises" to clean up this morning. I'm a proud Mom, definitly. Pictures to follow soon, once I can get a bow in his topknot without Pedro kvetching.

Bridge Over Buttered Waters

2004-08-13T01:24:00.000-07:00

Thoughts I'm having right now, in no particular order:

1) This weekend Pedro and I are going to look at Pixie. I refuse to let him sign anything or bring her home yet. That'd just be irresponsible.
2) I want to hear back from that job. I'm not as anxious as I was to hear back from them regarding the interview, but I'd like to feel that I'm doing something of substance here.
3) I think my roomies and I are getting fish today. I think I'll name mine Tilapia.
4) I wish the rest of the world moved as fast as I did. Waiting sucks.
5) These thoughts are terrible. I oughta be having more fun, yes?

Hard Rolls

2004-08-12T00:50:00.000-07:00

My interview went well, I guess.

I know I talked it up a lot, but in all actuality, I won't be heartbroken if I don't get it. It seems too much like my old job, the one that was really easy to leave. Of course, if I'm offered it I'll be thrilled-- who wouldn't be-- but if not, I haven't given up hope. Today I made potato soup for Pedro and ate some gummy worms. That's about it.

I feel pretty uncertain... I'm moved in (kind of) and I guess it's alright here, I just miss my friends from my previous life. Ideally, I'll be able to make some of my own and stop mooching friends off of Pedro when I get a real job.

Speaking of friends of my own, Pedro found a doggie named Pixie that he wants to learn more about. There are doggies everywhere. Now there's something that would take up my extra time and energy-- there's a doggie park around the corner from us, and Pixie and I could spend all afternoon there. I think it's perfect.

In sad news, I probably won't be able to make it back home for the Butterapolis State Fair. Pedro and I think I need to be settled here first before driving again. That, and he's driven about 7,000 miles this summer, no joke. That's two oil changes.

Loafin'

2004-08-10T15:30:00.000-07:00

I'm here, finally.

Sorry I've been non-comm for a while, but moving takes sweet time. After an emotional goodbye from Butterapolis I jumped in Lil Bertha and headed for my new home, caravanning with Pedro and MEL. We all got here, I signed paperwork and got a handful of keys and entered my new home. All is well. Pedro and MEL had to schlep my enormous white couches up 6 flights of stairs because the freight elevator was too small. Yep, definitly took them out for din din last night. We went out for martinis afterward, and MEL got a kick out of not being carded AND a cop even bought him a drink (of course not knowing MEL is only 20).

So I've spent all morning unpacking. I still have lots more to go, but my room is starting to look a little more like home. OH-- DDL sent toilet bowl cleaner with me--and after Pedro demonstrated--I decided to try it out myself. I cleaned my first toilet. And it was fine.

Everyone, do a happy good luck dance for me tomorrow, as I have a big-deal interview. You know I really really really really REALLY want it. Results to be posted.

Butter Returns!

2004-08-04T13:40:00.000-07:00

And I'm back, this time in Butterapolis.

Pedro and I had a blast at KS and RD's wedding, where we looked so so cute. I always cry at A Wedding Story, but I didn't cry at this actual wedding. Probably because the acoustics were terrible and there wasn't sappy music while they were saying their vows. Oh well. The reception was terrific, the food was amazing, the DJ was just like mine from my bat mitzvah 10 years ago (complete with Chicken Dance and handing out plastic hats and sunglasses). MEL got totally wasted with the valets in the parking lot and was super excited for LI iced teas on LI.

Pedro and I had a nice time driving back from LI too. We stopped in NYC and Philly (thanks to the helpful advice from KLP and JJS) and enjoyed ourselves. It's so nice to be a real girlfriend again, part of a realtime couple.

REL set up a dentist appointment for me tomorrow. Of course he did. Oh, and Pedro and I were not under 100% surveillance. We had slumber parties with no problems. More later, I promise.

Pats of Butter

2004-07-29T17:32:00.000-07:00

After UPS picked up 6 enormous boxes packed by yours truly this morning, I decided to reward my hard work by getting my nails done. I managed to find polish the color of the sympathy dress, which will make its' debut this weekend at the wedding. Since my nails are always in bad shape (a girl's gotta use her hands) I splurged for tips AND a matching pedicure.

I swear, I'm more comfortable at a gyno appt. than I am during a pedicure.

This woman, Quinn, was dangerous with an emory board. Not to mention her other little sharp pointy cutty things. My hands and feet are still sore, 2.5 hours later. I am such a princess, even a pedicure wears me out.

So to treat myself after getting through this rugged ordeal, I got a slurpee. Do you see the cycle here? I'm just killing time til Pedro and Pedro Jr. get here... which will be after midnight, methinks.

Call me Butter, Call me Parkay, Just Don't Call Me Late for Dinner

2004-07-29T10:39:00.000-07:00

Seems like Butter's been attracting not only lovers but haters as well. Come one, come all. Welcome to my tiny corner in the information universe.

Given my profession and political affiliation, you might find it strange that I deleted a post. Please note I deleted the entire post and not just the offending comments. Being Queen Webmaster of On A Roll, I simply exercised my power of control and felt that this did not fit in with my mission statement. And since I'm creator of my online universe, and I'm not stupid, I get to choose my content. The last thing I want On A Roll to be is a back and forth online bitchy catfight. Approvazione?

I'd like to thank each and every one of you for finding me here. I must be pretty entertaining to have so many hits in just one month! I promise to continue to be silly, sexy and irreverent for you, dear readers, whether you like me or not. If you don't like me, that's fine. But if you do, know I appreciate it and realize you do have a choice. Thanks.

Bread in a Bag

2004-07-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

The problem with cerveza in the afternoon is the five hour mid-day siesta that followed. That meant that I was up just about all night thinking even faster than normal, if you can believe it. I decided to spend my time thinking about the trivial, like whether I should wear my glasses to the interview or not, or if I should have my hair up or down. Thank goodness Mom bought me a cute summer suit that day I caught the pervert.

I woke up and actually decided to pack this morning, but obviously now I'm taking a break since I ran out of packing tape. But whatever. Nothing can touch me because I have a wedding to go to this weekend, a boyfriend helping me move, and an interview happening in T-2 weeks.

Now all I need is a huge puppy and a huge diamond. Maybe those are graduation presents.

Probably not. Feh.

Rising

2004-07-27T22:16:00.000-07:00

Finally.

After totally dehydrating myself for the past couple of days, I finally get the graduation present I've been begging/praying for:

A job interview. A real life interview.

Even though all of my friends here have already had a thousand of them, this is still the first time someone has taken interest in my expensive brain and said, "Hey Butter, we want to see what you're all about. Come on in and dazzle us." And dazzle I will.

It's show time.
I'll let you know how it works out.

Oh, and a very happy 21st to MCH, and a very happy 24th to MJH.

Bagel Bites

2004-07-26T09:33:00.000-07:00

REL dropped the bomb.

During our fabulous weekend in the Hamptons Pedro and I will be on 100% surveillance. Pretty clever, by placing Pedro in a hotel room with MEL and some other male mispuchah. Meanwhile, I have the honour of sharing a room with REL and CDL, both snore like crazy and are generally not a lot of fun.

This sucks. It's time to get creative.

Here's what I've been thinking:
1) I could pay MEL and the other kid off either with cash or bourbon.
2) I could ignore REL and do whatever I want. What's he going to do, ground me??
3) I could stay out on the beach all night and pull a trick like that dumb girl in WI.
4) I could make friends with the bellboy and get supersecret access to an underground lair.
5) I could rely on Pedro to think of something.

Someone, anyone, help please?

Butter Side Up

2004-07-25T20:04:00.000-07:00

What a nothing day.

My biggest accomplishment was buying packing boxes, Sharpies and packing tape and then lugging them up the four flights of stairs. By the time I got back to my room, I took one look at them and said, "I could start packing. Or I could eat frozen strawberries while watching Romy and Michele's High School Reunion." Guess what won.

Now I'm at my final day at the Slice. The computers are still down, except for mine, which means I'm a solo pat of butter today. A perfect day to shoot library porn. If you're into that kind of thing, you know.

Butter's Balls

2004-07-24T17:26:00.000-07:00

Now this is why I want you to call me Butter....
I am SO on a roll. Why, you ask?

I said BLOWJOB to my entire class.

That's right. Lemme spell it out for you again: B-L-O-W-J-O-B!

It all started during this lame-o presentation day during class. Pie-eating Hosebeast decided to do a powerpoint on how teens find information, and she decided to mimic a study she found by trying to search like a teen on Jeeves.

So she put up this dumb disclaimer saying, "If you're going to be offended by sexual content, please leave the room". Well this made everyone pay attention, even Butter. Pie-eating Hosebeast continued to flap her gums about how a teen will search for "oral sex" if they were curious about what that actually was, after hearing about it from the whole Clinton scandal.

I raised my hand and said, "I was a teenager a couple of years ago, and a teen isn't going to type "oral sex" when they really want to know about blowjobs. Just like they wouldn't type in "marijuana" when they wanna know about weed or pot. We talk so much about controlled vocabularly and knowing the end user that this really is important. You have to know your audience."

Oh, I can only imagine what kind of people are going to find this now, given my choice vocabularly.

Anyway, it was so clutch. What a way to end graduate school-- with about 10,000 kick-ass points, and the final comment in my final class.

In other news....

Pedro is also the best for sending me 18 roses. C'mon, I have to brag, it's the first time I've gotten flowers delivered to me all year.
RDS is already missed. Crazy how time flies.
DRD will be just fine. I have every reason to believe that.
KLP and I bought matching purses last night from here.
SRW and I have a date for tonight.

If I don't get comments on this post, I don't know what it takes guys.

My So-Called Toast

2004-07-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

I'm working at the Slice right now, and there's a giant crane complete with a wrecking ball directly outside my window. Construction work is fun.

As shitty as this year has been, I must realize that at least it makes all my other years look a whole lot better. I guess that gets back to my favorite high school comparative lit. hypo: can you really have a hero without a villain? What can I say, that was during my My So Called Life phase with DWHS. Ahhh, high school...

Today I toast to SRW and KLP. You've made this better. Hope I can do the same for you sometime.

Sourdough Pt.2

2004-07-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

Sitting in class, listening to a guy in head to toe khaki and blaring white tennis shoes talk about rare books while there's a beautiful sunset and salsa and wine and cheese a go go at the museum next door is enough to make me want to pull out all of my eyelashes.

In dysfunctional family news:
REL asked me what a burrito was.
MEL is living in a detiorating fraternity house minutes away from our beautiful house.
DDL has hand addressed envelopes to all of our friends for my graduation par-tay.

Sourdough

2004-07-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

Just 2 more classes, and I'm still needing pep talks to get my ass in class. I realize that now with no job, and soon classes will be over, and Pedro will be around all the time... what will I have to kvetch about? Am I finally at some sort of plateau?

No. Still unemployed. But I'm not feeling nearly as doomed as I used to, probably because I can throw myself into decorating my new space. I'll finally be able to have a use for silicone spatulas!

Baking Rolls

2004-07-21T23:57:00.000-07:00

Probably one of the worst feelings in the world is waking up and feeling positively sick because it's so hot outside.

Probably one of the best feelings in the world is waking up and feeling positively fantastic because you have the best hair in the city.

Probably the weirdest feeling in the world is having both of these happening at the exact same time.

Timing, I've decided, is everything. Last night I managed to call Pedro just as he was toasting to my new place. Moving to the Mighty Midwest when I am is good timing too, for once I'm there I'll be able to canvass the entire city with my CV. It's certainly the right time for Pedro and I to be in the same city, that's for sure. I just need to hit the nail on the head for employment--at the right time--and I'm set. Prognosis: good.

Out of the Oven

2004-07-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

Butter's been cookin', and the bread is out of the oven. Professor, eat my shorts.

Today I finished my Alma Mater Project. I can tell you where every CFO and CEO in the Fortune top 25 went to school. Sadly, my two dear alma maters didn't make the list. Neither did Pedro's. Feh.

I weighed myself today for the first time this semester, courtesy of RDS. Yep, I'm disappearing, just as I thought. I'll enjoy this while I can-- Pedro is a fattening influence: Butter, you NEED bubble tea and French fries... (2 hours later) let's order a pizza... (20 minutes later) I bet I know someone who wants nachos!... (5 minutes later) wanna beer?

You know though, I think that my weight fluctuates with my happiness. And while being skinny does make me pretty happy, the happiest time in my life was when I gained about 30 pounds living in Italy.

Oh, to be fat, drunk and happy. Here's to the Mighty Midwest, with cornfed girls and cows.

Sliced Bread!

2004-07-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

The big chop happened.

And thanks to yesterday's postings, i received thousands of phone calls and emails today concerning my hair (alright, it was about 5: SRW, KLP, REL, DDL and Pedro). So here's how it went down:

In my neurotic paranoia of being late, I arrived at the salon 30 minutes before it even opened. I had a 9 AM appointment, and used this time to pace up and down the street while kvetching to REL on the phone. Then I finally got there, the stylist called me "adorable, simply adorable" and said I had great hair. So great he wanted before and after pictures for their in-house binders. I'm such a Kosher ham, you know I loved it.

So after that, I showed them the pictures I brought in. I wanted to look like the girl on John Frieda's Brilliant Brunette ad. No, my hair isn't that short or that dark, but it's close. Certainly not blonde anymore. Four and a half hours and two processes later, I'm now the proud owner of a blown out 'do. I'll call the color Boston Brown, I think, since this was the first stylist EVER who called my hair color (now) brown. Not chocolate, not chestnut, not amber, not maple. Just BROWN.

So yeah. Very grown up hair cut and color. And is it still sexy? Will Pedro still love it?

Well, I still turned heads at the mall and got cat called by a guy in a red Toyota Tercel. My hair may change my outlook on my life, but not the way others look out at me.

Marble Bread

2004-07-19T17:19:00.000-07:00

After getting my very last paycheck from my old job and really severing that umbilical cord, I decided to make an appointment to get my locks chopped. My mermaid hair has served me well--there's few things sexier than waste length twists and curls--but alas, I must do the ceremonial chop. The last time I dropped serious dough on my 'do was the day I interviewed for the position I just left.

It's time. For a major change.

I think I might become a sexy redhead. Pedro confirmed that Jewish redheads can be sexy, Irish redheads... not so much. With that encouragement, and having booked a 9 AM appointment at a salon on Beantown's version of Michigan Ave., I have every confidence to spend all day tomorrow getting gorgeous. And, quite honestly, with this much hair, I need all day. Normally I'm a double, sometimes triple process, which means they add at least 2 layers of color to my hair. This is why people always think I'm a natural (fill in the blank)head.

But I'm not. My natural hair color is the non-color of the dirty rats on the train tracks at Harvard Station. That's why I spend close to $300 and all day to make sure I come out of the salon looking nothing like that!

Crumbly No More

2004-07-18T20:48:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I spanked it today.

Homework update: finished my reference questions, assignment for next Saturday's hell, and looked at a decent chunk of stuff on Lexis.

Tomorrow's challenges: finish Lexis paper, Fortune paper, Expat paper, 4 listservs and 3 more articles.

Tonight's reward and tomorrow's incentive: having a much-wanted beer with PPS in about an hour.

Fewer Crumbs

2004-07-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

I finished my goon manual. All I have to do is illustrate it-- good thing I keep my Crayola's at close reach. Also, KLP has such good timing-- she's coming over to The Slice and we're having a late lunch break. That's because I forced myself to turn down the invite to spend a couple hours in a cool (meaning cold) movie theatre because I still have gobs to do. Oh, and make that 6 articles to review, I knocked out 3.

In summary: I wrote a 10 page instruction manual and reviewed 3 articles. I have a lunch date, because I need to be powered by burrrrrrrrito in order to make me a more productive Butter.

Collecting Crumbs

2004-07-18T01:25:00.000-07:00

I've put myself on library-arrest today. I must finish the last crumbs of my last week of graduate school. That's why I'm here on a beautiful sunny day. Well, that, and my room on the fourth floor with one window and no A/C just isn't cutting it today. Here's what I must accomplish before I can say I'm a graduate school graduate:

1) 20 reference questions.
2) 10 questions on the Unity and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act. (What a mouthfull. That's why you all know it as the USA PATRIOT Act, folks.)
3) a paper and presentation comparing and contrasting free and fee web-based legal services.
4) a step-by-step manual so any goon could do my job (complete with diagrams).
5) a listing of where Fortune execs went to college and graduate school.
6) a review of 4 Listservs.
7) a review of 9 more websites.

See why I whine about a job? This would be a whole lot easier if I had a carrot hanging in front of me, like a donkey. Eye on the prize, Butter... Instead, I just look like an ass.

The Bread to My Butter

2004-07-17T18:36:00.000-07:00

The best thing ever is to have a really burnt-toast kind of day, just to have Pedro magically call, right on cue. Total sitcom moment, I swear. The timing was perfect, just as I was about to cancel my hot date for the night, he swung in and reminded me that it's the little nice things in my days that I can't neglect-- homework can wait.

After all, that's the law school way.-- Pedro

An hour and a half later, I decided I was not doomed, and that moving to the Mighty Midwest lets me partake in many things I've been missing out here in Cosmopolitan World. For example:
1) Super Duper Wal Mart, Mega X-treme Target, and grocery stores bigger than football stadiums.
2) Cheap beer. And "Ladies Nights". And all other opportunities to have a cheap good night, all because I have boobs.
3) My darling little car, even if she might end up burnt out and on cinder blocks, given the reputation of my new home.
4) My old gym, with plenty of time to take advantage of step classes, sculpting classes, and all other classes I don't have to study for.
5) Finally--the real clincher-- is that I get to be with Pedro. But you guys knew that, I know. Can you blame me? We get to go on all sorts of great adventures together, and you'll get to hear all about 'em.

Kneading Dough

2004-07-16T12:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, have I been wholesome today! I woke up still in my glasses with the TV on, probably due to last night's dinner of Cheez-its and Heineken. That's ok, because I woke up super motivated to work on my project. It involves finding the alma maters of all the Fortune 100 execs for the past year. Exciting super slueth work, really. No, really, I'm not kidding.

In other not-so exciting news, I have plans for tonight. Real plans. Should I be out gallavanting when I have 8.5 hours of Saturday class and 2 hours of Saturday work to attend tomorrow? Noooooo... but am I going anyway? Yessssss.... Tomorrow night I also have a dinner and a movie date with KLP. Good times.
This is almost enough of a distraction for me to stop worrying about a job.

Hey, I said almost.

Speaking of...
Am I sick for really really missing my shitty part time job right now? I blame my entrepreneurial parents for this one, you know, that whole "the entire company is resting on my shoulders, like Atlas". Sigh. Damn my work ethic. Why can't it transfer over to my homework? That's right-- because I'm paying to go to G-slice, not getting paid. I guess what I've learned is this: nothing is that bad so long as you're getting paid for it. Does that make me sound like a total prostitute? Well, take sex out of it and it's probably pretty applicable to most every situation.

One Slice

2004-07-15T11:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, when I was eating (by myself) I saw there was a free showing today of a new movie. So I went (by myself). I got there early and waited for the movie to start. It's tough going to a movie solo, there was nobody to talk to. So I sat and waited. The movie was cute enough, but the message wasn't quite what I needed to hear:

You don't need the perfect man in your life, you need your dream career. Then your life is complete.

After the movie, I got some stir fry and peach lemonade, both of which were a shock to my system (I downed a full pint of B&J REAL ice cream, not fro yo, yesterday). I checked my mail and saw that I got another Unibomber package from Dad-- plain brown paper, no note, no-nonsense label, this time complete with chocolate covered macadamia nuts and mango lotion. That's right. Dad went to Hawaii and all I got were these lowsy nuts.

More Soggy Bread

2004-07-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

Still raining.

And my mood is a little punchy, too. Today I've decided to feel sorry for myself. I'm tired of being unemployed. I haven't even lasted a week and I'm dying to get back to work. Granted, not the work I was doing, but something to make me more than a bump on society's log. I mean really, aside from who you love, the next most important aspect is what you do with your life. And I guess what I've chosen to do isn't quite working for me right now. I'll blame the current party in political office, for making budding professionals like me--now just 2 weeks shy of a graduate degree--contemplate posing on Camaros at car shows in the Mighty Midwest. There's lots of those there, you know.

Soggy Bread

2004-07-13T13:36:00.000-07:00

It's raining.

And in the few days since last Friday, I've somehow morphed into a complete bum. Again, I didn't do much productive today. At least I made it to school an hour early to hang out.

New information I've accumulated today:

1). Pedro and I will be sitting with an attorney from Vandy at my stepbrother's wedding at the end of the month.
2). My father has somehow managed to get a carton of Colgate Simply White and has decided to hand them out to everyone he knows. This explains the plain brown envelope addressed to me with no note, just tooth whitener.
3). I've been thinking that I still might have a twin bed in my new place. Is that weird? I'm a grown up and have never ever had anything but a twin size bed. I think a bed is a dumb thing to take up space-- I'd rather have bookcases or my bottlecap-covered desk chair in a corner.
4). The stupid card-swipe system to get into my building was not working today, luckily LPE has a first floor room and was home so I was not standing out in the cold rain.
5). Speaking of weather, I'm in a long sleeve shirt, cotton sweater and jeans in the middle of July. This will not be the case next month when I'm in the Mighty Midwest again.

Hot Dog Buns

2004-07-12T17:06:00.000-07:00

A former coworker of mine sent me a job posting for a job in Mighty Midwest. It'd be quite perfect given my qualifications and location scenario... so I applied tonight. This comes after my having been a total lump all day. I did things today that I had forgotten about: eating Ben & Jerry's in bed, reading Cosmo, watching Roseanne, and not showering. Those definitly make for a good day. I felt a little bad about not working on homework, but then again that's what tomorrow is for. I'm so close to finishing here I can taste it. It tastes metallic, in case you're interested.

I got to talk to JB in Israel who told me that hot dogs and hot dog buns both come in packages of six. He's a big hot dog enthusiast. I'll keep that in mind when Pedro and I (maybe) move to Israel in 2006. For those of you following our quest to pick out our Top Ten World Destinations to live in two years, for two years, here's our latest list:
1. Israel
2. The Netherlands
3. Belgium
4. Sweden
5. Russia
6. Argentina
7. The Czech Republic
8. Poland
9. Cuba
10. Australia
Please comment and tell me what you think!

Challah Roll

2004-07-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

A brand new chapter in my life, a brand new blog to match.
Now, you may be asking, Butter, what kind of a roll? I guess that's up to you. Most would say it's a Challah roll from Einstein bagels, I would imagine. Or, a roll on a downward spiral, if you want to get philosophical. Mostly though, it's a roll meaning progress. And hopefully not regress. I know that I'm rolling back closer to where I came from, hopefully building speed and size and courage by the time I reach my final destination. The final destination will be fine, Pedro will be there, and that's what I need.

Today's new thoughts:
1) I'm much more social than I remembered. This was found out by my being Hospitality Hostess with the Mostess at a big-deal-professional-adult conference held all day.
2) I should drink more water.
3) Carrying around vendor-sponsered products makes for a whole different image for Butter. Take for example the large and very blue bag on wheels I earned after sitting through six vendor-sponsered spiels. This caused most to ask where I earned my J.D.